It's Not a Date !
by Superdimentio77
Summary: When Lincoln recieves a written invitation for a friendly hangout at the arcade from Ronnie Anne, he knows he has to keep his sisters far away from it. But can Lincoln truly conquer the sisternado ? What ways will he resort to make it happen ? And is he right to do so ?
1. Chapter 1

**It's not a date !**

 **Part 1 : Making the stand**

 **Yep, I too fell head over heels for this little show known as "The Loud House". It's funny, it's simple, and the chemistry between Lincoln and his 10 sisters is adorable !**

 **So here's my take on trying to recreate an episode of the Loud House, but with a bit of my writing style. I hope you'll enjoy it.**

* * *

On this Friday afternoon, Clyde McBride was feeling very confused. Not Lori Loud confused, or taking a halestorm of Luan's pranks confused, or even trying to see the 'apparent' difference between the 32 different pinks of Lola's dresses confused.

He had learned the golden rule for that last turmoil though : **Agree with her.**

No, today Clyde was truly confused at the actions of his best friend, his lead bro, **Lincoln Loud**.

Being an only child, Clyde had always wondered what it would mean for him to have a sibling. With Lincoln, he had the closest thing to a brother he could ever get. Plus, he could see in Lincoln the other extreme of having siblings, namely because of his 10 sisters. Come to his house on a Friday Night, and you'd see them live up their family name, **loud** and proud.

(This pun is Luan-approved)

Thus, Clyde watched his best friend skipping in joy... before drooping in sadness, then contorting into anger, rocking himself in fetal position, taking his thinking pose, doing a little jig, and repeating the cycle again and again.

And he had been like that all the way from school. And now that they were nearing Lincoln's home, Clyde wanted awnsers.

"Lincoln, I'm getting concerned. You've been like that since school ended. I let you out of my field of vision for 30 seconds, and you transformed yourself into a mess of emotions." said Clyde truthfully.

Lincoln stopped his skipping in mid-air, before grabbing his friend by the shoulders. "That's because I AM a mess of emotions ! And it's all because of this !" awnsered Lincoln in panic, sorting a folded letter from his backpack.

Clyde opened the letter, and read out loud :

" _Hey Lam- Lincoln._

 _I'm writing this letter because my phone is dead, and it won't get replaced until Sunday. I'm doing this the 'traditionnal way', as my parents call it._

 _There is one heck of a promo at Gus' Games and Grub. One grub bought, three tokens for free ! One life-time experience dude, and I thought about going with ya, since you can actually defend yourself on Turbo Blast XXIII and Chainsaw Ninja IX._

 _I'll be there Saturday at 1 p.m. You better be there, or next week will be a very endangering one for you._

 _See ya soon (for your sake),_

 _Ronnie Anne._

"Do you see the problem now ?!" said Lincoln, gripping his face.

Clyde looked at his white-haired friend in confusion. "You've spent all your allowance ?"

"No."

"You already have plans this Saturday ?"

"No."

"You've got an army of zombies after you, and they're waiting for you there ?"

"No !"

"Then I can safely say that I fail to see the problem." deadpanned Clyde.

"The problem is that THIS, right here, is a Girl Letter !" shouted Lincoln, shoving the letter closer to his friend's face, who pushed it in mid-annoyance.

"But why do you care ? You and Ronnie Anne are just pals." questionned Clyde.

"Yes, and for now, I want it to stay it that way !" explained Lincoln.

"Wait, for now ? Oh..." said Clyde with a smile, wriggling his eyebrows. "When's the wedding ?"

"Not now, Clyde !" retorted Lincoln, not amused. "I don't want to rush things, I want to be sure she is cool with it, so hell doesn't break loose. For now, we are FRIENDS. And I really do enjoy this friendship."

"You kinda already went First base when you kissed her and Jean Juan's." reminded Clyde.

"Exactly, I already have one action against my will, and it's going to make everything harder when I'll have to defend myself." said Lincoln.

"Defend yourself ? Against who ?" asked Clyde, concerned that someone might come after his bro.

Lincoln gave a very long look to Clyde, one that could crack his glasses if it could.

"I received a **Girl Letter** , from a girl I **kissed** , **TWICE** , that is asking me to **join her** at a **restaurant** , and spend the day there, **just the two of us**. Don't you think that can click something in some people's minds ? Hmm ?!" stressed out Lincoln, trying to make it obvious to his naïve friend.

"But you and Ronnie Anne both know that it's just friends hanging out." said Clyde. He then paused, gears rotating in his mind. It then became very clear, and he winced. "Oooh, your sisters, right ?"

"YES !" hollered Lincoln to the sky. "As soon as they'll even look at the signature, they are going to meddle as much as they can ! They'll make everything akward, and Ronnie Anne won't even talk to me anymore, right after she grinds me into Lincoln Filet !"

"Oh come on, they aren't that bad. They did arrange your real first kiss with Ronnie Anne after all." said Clyde, trying to pacify his friend.

"I'm not saying they are always wrong. They have, usually, the best of intentions. But for every time they succeed, I can count at least two times they've messed up, big time ! Do I even need to talk about the science fair of 4th-"

But he was stopped about a fear-stricken Clyde, who shut his mouth with his hand. "We don't talk about the science fair of 4th grade ! There was no science fair during 4th grade ! What's even a science fair ?! I don't know, because it doesn't exist !"

Lincoln then proceded to pat the back of his hyperventilating friend, waiting for him to calm down. When he did, Lincoln continued.

"Sorry for the bad memories buddy, but you get what I'm saying. Can you imagine what they could do with a girl affair ? I might be filed, to all girls in the world, as the guy who must never be dated, nor approached ! I'll be girl-less for the rest of my life, apart from my sisters visiting me when I'm old and alone !"

They were now before Lincoln's house. He gulped in aprehension, as it was Clyde's turn to pat his back.

"Can't help you from this point, buddy. Lori will be there, and you know I can't do anything when that woman is around me. Just hearing her voice will turn my brain into yogurt. You've got all my support though." said Clyde, before pulling Lincoln into a bro hug. "Good luck, comrade."

He then departed, leaving the Loud's absolute middle child to mount the steps of his porch. But before he entered, he looked right at the camera itself.

"You've been listening for a little while, haven't you ?"

The camera nodded back, and Lincoln sighed.

"Then I won't have to repeat myself. What I can tell you however, is that my sisters must not see this letter. It is imperative that they stay out of this as much as possible. No plan yet, just never let them see the letter. *Phew*. I can do this. I can one-hundred percent do this."

Passing his hand through his hair to make it cool, Lincoln entered his home with an assuring smile.

* * *

 _10 seconds later..._

Lincoln was now looking very unamused, with huge earmuffs on his ears, as he watched his sisters letting out the shrillest of girl group squeals, even indifferent Lisa and gloomy Lucy, though baby Lily was just giggling along. He looked back at the camera.

"Note to self : Sisters can smell Girl Letters. Well, Lana and Lola can at least." narrated Lincoln. "Fortunately, I always have my emergency kit for extreme situations."

He then sorted a brown box from his backpack, which contained... a chocolate bar.

He opened it, and suddenly, naught noise could be heard in the house. The girls were intently looking at the rectangular piece of heaven. "Chocolate", they all resonated with wide shining eyes.

Knowing he had their attention, Lincoln spoke.

"Sit." On cue, they fell on their backsides at once. The sole brother sighed. "In the living room, please."

The Loud sisters zoomed off, placing themselves on and aroud the couch. Lincoln put himself in front of all of them, broke the candy bar into 10 exact pieces, and threw those one by one at his sisters, which they munched on intently and happily.

"Now that we are all assembled, we can talk about that letter you found. No shrieking !" ordered Lincoln, stopping the girls right on the edge. "I'm going to be straight to the point : I don't want you, to do, anything."

All gasped at their brother's revelation. "You're kidding, right ? This is your first date, of course we're gonna help you. You'll totally not survive without some girl advice from yours truly." said bossy Lori sternly.

"I'll, like, make you the prettiest dress ever ! Oh wait, that's for girls. But we could totally have an upsy-down theme ! You'll wear the dress, and Ronnie will wear a tuxedo !" imagined naive Leni, lost in her world of fashion.

"I'll make some fine tunes for you and the lady. Nothing better than a lunch with some music, Mick Swagger style !" said ever-rocking Luna, already banging the head to the future tunes she was going to brew.

"I'll prepare some jokes to enjoy, that will be sure to _Linc_ the two of you, haha ! Get it ?" said comedic Luan, already cracking up.

"With the reflexes I'm gonna build in you, she'll litteraly fall into your arms, and you'll be ready to catch her." said athletic Lynn, high-fiving her older sister over the pun she just made.

"I will write poems to the extent of the ones I do for Edward. Your love will shake her to the very core of her soul." mumbled emo Lucy in her low voice, though with much more determination than usual.

"I'm going to prepare you to be the prettiest of all. Awesome treatements that will make girls crawl to you, and Ronnie Anne to fend them all off, tiger style." anounced primpy Lola suggestively, maybe too much for a 6 years old. That's the pagent world for you.

"I'll let you borrow my utility belt, so you're prepared for any situation, from stuck toilet door to raging racoon attack !" said tomboy Lana, hammer in hand.

"I might be able to concoct a beverage which will boost your social skills by two-hundred percent, with only 20% of chances of side-effects. Science is a fickle mistress, after all." said brainiac Lisa, adjusting her glasses.

"Gagblxpffft." blabblered baby Lily, clearly wanting to help in some way as she clapped joyfully.

Lincoln endured his sisters' chit-chat, before shushing them. "Enough ! There will be none of that ! Why ? Because this is not a date !"

"Right, and I'm the Queen of England. Leni, that was a metaphor, stop bowing." said Lola, as Leni returned to her place with a smile.

"It's just me and Ronnie Anne going for some pizza and video games, there is nothing romantic about that." insisted the brother.

"Right, you do get that she gave you a letter ? If her phone was dead, she would have simply come here, she knows where we live. Heck, she could have told you that at school." asserted Lori with a smirk.

"Maybe she didn't want the school or you all to know that was happening, because she knew how it would go down : exactly how it's going down right now." said Lincoln through his teeth.

"Oh pish posh, dear male sibling of mine. I can observe the brain waves kicking off the pheromones, that activate the part of your cortex which makes you feel 'love', all the way from here." analysed Lisa.

"Well, science talk aside, she's kinda right dude." said Luna with a grin. "Love is in the air, we girls can smell it from here."

"That's a myth, and you know it !" groaned Lincoln. "Look, I just don't want anything to go awry, that's all."

"Pshh, that's dumb talk. Since when did we mess up anything for you ?" said Lynn smugly, before covering her own mouth in shock. Every girl winced, as Lincoln's look darkened.

"Oh. Oh ho ho, we are actually going there, are we ?" said Lincoln with a hollow laugh. "Fine, let's take a brief trip down the memory lane. Let's see, we have my first swimming lessons."

* * *

 _A 5 year-old Lincoln was floating above the surface, litteraly prisonner of a cluster of floaters. He was so entangled in them, adults were talking about being forced to pop them on the spot._

 _On the sides, were the Loud sisters, sans Lola and Lana (Too young, sleeping at home), and sans Lisa and Lily (Not born yet). "Sorry Lincoln." they apologised in unison._

 _Lincoln only offered a muffled groan._

* * *

"Then there was the Flying Squirrel Scouts debacle."

* * *

 _8 year-old Lincoln was hanging for his dear life with his fellow scouts and instructor, as they were all being transported into the air._

 _How ? They were entangled in a mess of ropes, that was getting pulled into some sort of makeshift paragliding, which actually was the result of their tents sewed up together !_

 _As all were screaming in fright, Lincoln turned his eyes to a small hill, seeing a group of people hosting a sign. But even from afar, he recognized his sisters, if the sign was any clue._

 _'SORRY LINCOLN'_

 _As he sighed, he thought he was starting to see things. He could have sworn he saw some sort of flying squirrel-man, with his cheeks full of nuts._

" _They have great nuts around here ! Oooh, Timmy is gonna be so proud of his old man !"_

* * *

"And I think nobody can forget what happened at the last science fair. You could say it was a _blast_. What, no snickering Luan ?"

* * *

 _Royal Woods' elementary school had never known such a disaster. The entire science fair was in tatters, the gymnasium had been painted with many elements, some of which were probably radioactive. Frogs, racoons and bats were roaming the place, just as distraught as the humans that used to be there._

 _Speaking of humans, one could be seen among the wreckage. A young 10 year-old white-haired boy, his orange shirt and jeans torn apart, and a twitching eye that could split a mountain._

 _His nine sisters (Lily had been taken with her parents they fled) were watching their brother from behind. They opened their mouths all at once._

" _Not. a. word." hissed Lincoln with clenched teeth, prompting the girls to close their mouths._

* * *

Lincoln finished his tales with crossed arms, looking at each of his siblings on the couch. But he couldn't help but mellow at their shameful looks. Even Lucy looked more miserable than usual. What got him though, were Lana's sad words.

"But we just wanted to help..." she said, her voice almost cracking up.

Lincoln sighed, kneed to his sister's level, and put his hands on her shoulders. "I know. I know you all want to help me, and I appreciate it, really. I'm glad to know that I have you girls to back me off when I'm in any kind of serious pickle."

After a quick hug to Lana, he stood up, and faced them all again. "But it's as your brother that I do ask this request. This is not a date, so let me handle it. I ask – not demand, **ask** – that you do not intervene in any way, unless I call you. I swear I'll make it up to you, but please, oh please, consider what I'm telling you, and understand my wishes."

The girls looked at eachother, eyebrows raised, before giving away a smile to their pleading brother.

"Well, guess we'll have to post-pone your sessions, twerp. Go have fun, we'll stay out of this." said Lori fondly, to which all nodded.

Lincoln was beaming with happiness, as he embraced his oldest sister. "Oh, thank you ! Thank you so much, you guys ! I double-swear I'll make it up to you, you're the best !"

Lincoln then departed for the stairs, as his sisters wished him good luck for tomorrow. Pratically skipping the steps, he turned to the camera.

"Well how about that ! I was honest, I was truthful, and I simply appealed to the bond we all share as siblings. They all understood and let me go ! I can't believe it was so easy ! And now, all I have to do is wait in my room, knowing my sisters will assurely hold their word." said Lincoln with a big smile, as he reached the top of the stairs.

…

…

A frown suddenly took place on his face.

"Yeah, I'm not buying it either." he mumbled to the camera.

With an irritated look, Lincoln descended the stairs in a flash, and he wasn't disappointed by what he saw.

His sisters watched him, looking redhanded, as they were all before Lisa's chalkboard, with scribbles on it. The most proeminent writing on it was the title : " _Operation : LINCOLN X RONNIE-ANNE ROYAL SMOOCH (A Loud Siblings' plan)_ ". Lisa was sporting her military helmet, and pointing a stick at a rough drawing of Lincoln and Ronnie-Anne kissing romantically, with hearts and cherubs flying over them.

Close to the board, Luna slowly spinned the board so its blank face was visible, never tearing her eyes from her little brother for an instant. The girls then delivered very nervous smiles to their furious sibling.

"Heeey, Lincoln. H-How's it hangin', since five seconds ago ?" tried Lynn, starting to sweat bullets.

"We were so not planning on trying to transform your friendly hang-out into a romantic date if that's what you're thinking." said Lori, tugging on her collar.

"YES, WE TOTALLY WERE !" suddenly cried Leni. The other girls sent her glares. "I'm sorry girls, but I just can't cope with the kilt !"

"It's pronounced guilt, Leni." sighed Lisa, before being brought into a hug by her big sister.

"Oh, don't feel like that, it's gonna be alright." cooed Leni, prompting the small genius to sigh more.

The girls then jumped when Lincoln took a heavy step in their direction, annoyance very present in his demanor. "Fine ! I didn't want to come to this, but if you won't understand to reason, then I'll have to take more **drastic** measures !"

With that, he dashed off to the top of the stairs. The girls stood there, eyeing eachother in apprehension, hearing strange ruckus coming from upstairs.

Lola suddenly perked up. "Wait a sec, I know that noise. That's the sound of... my tiaras being moved ! He is touching our stuff !"

They gasped, and hastened up the stairs. But when they reached the top, they all cringed in disgust at what was put on the very last step.

"EWWWW ! It's Lincoln's special gym undies ! The ones he didn't wash for the last three weeks !" cried Lola, trying not to bile.

Lincoln came out of Lynn and Lucy's room, trudging a brown bag behind him, to then enter Luna and Luan's.

"Somebody has to do something ! I don't know what he's doing, but I haven't locked my door ! Lana, can't you budge it ?!" asked Lori in panic.

"No can do, he added that putrid lavender-scented glitter on these ! I CAN'T STAND LAVENDER !" screamed Lana.

Lincoln was now rumaging Lori and Leni's room.

"He's almost finished, we have to hurry up !" said Luan urgently.

"I suppose my rubber gloves will have to do for now, but they won't protect my skin from the smell in its entirety." said Lisa worriedly.

The ever-angry Lincoln passed his sisters without even sharing them a glance, entering his room, and locking the door.

"Hurry up anyways !" urged Luna, fearful of what her brother could be doing with her stuff right now. When properly pushed to his limits, Lincoln could get quite devious, and they all knew it.

Lisa applied the second layer of rubber gloves, before shakily reaching the dirty piece of clothing. Immediately, she shook it off her hands like it was made of lava. "I'm gonna need three heavy doses of my homemade desinfectant for my hands, and something to cleanse those gloves from... scratch that, they are going right to the furnace." moaned the very young genius.

The Loud sisters rushed to the door, but were surprised to find it locked. Not only that, they could hear the chair laid against the door, no doubt an additional defense. They also heard their brother talking, and, by the sound of his tone, certainly not to himself.

"What's he saying ? Can't hear anything because of this stupid door !" hissed Lori, giving a couple of kicks in the wooden barrier.

"You could say that _knob_ ody knows ! Get it ?" laughed Luan, receiving groans as awnsers.

"Clear the way !" shouted Lynn, who had backed off all the way to the front of the bathroom. They all obeyed her, and with a war cry worthy of Spartacus himself, she charged the door like she would on the Football fields.

The lock and chair gave way to the 'Lynn-dozer', just as Lincoln had finished talking to someone by the window. Then, a scooter departing was heard, and Lincoln sternly turned to his siblings.

"Alright twerp, what the heck were you doing just about now ?" asked Lori, sharing her suspecting glare with the others.

"Why, glad you ask. I simply made sure that none of you are going to interfere with my hangout tomorrow." assured Lincoln, sternly still. "What you just heard was a pal of mine, which only I know the name and phone number, going on his scooter with a little 'box' I gave him, that I generously filled with most valuable items."

The siblings gasped once again, Lola stepping out to grab him by the collar with a rageful expression. "Talk, you soon-to-be pulverized mongrel ! What the heck did you do ?!"

Lincoln didn't flinch one bit at Lola's fiery glare, and freed himself from her grip.

"I butted in, but with your stuff ! Lori, I took the french perfume Bobby gave you !"

"What ?!" exclaimed Lori in anger.

"Leni, I took your Cha-cha-channel white leather boots !"

Leni clutched her heart in shock, her eyes moistering.

"Luna, I took your ticket for Mick Swagger's concert due next week !"

"You what mate ?!" blurted Luna with a British Accent.

"Luan, I took your 'Yuk'em Up Jokes reference book' !"

"You better be joking right now." threatened Luan, not an ounce of humour in her voice.

"Lynn, I took your Lucky base-ball !"

Lynn clenched her fists as she let out a low growl.

"Lucy, I took your fifth tome of 'Vampires of Melancholia'."

Lucy audibly gasped at the loss of the book she hadn't even read yet. The future of her nocturnal husbando resided in those pages !

"Lana, I took your Special N°2 !"

"Not Screwy !" wailed Lana over her most efficient screwdriver.

"Lola... I took your 'Frigid'* pocket mirror !"

"WHAT ?!" roared Lola at a record volume.

"Lisa, I took the tape that contain all your logs since last month !"

"Formulas and equation results of the most dire importance were on that tape !" said Lisa in agitation.

"And Lily, I, uh, took your rainbow set of cubes !"

Lily's eyes watered, as her lower lip pouted forwards.

Among the sisters, at least half of them were this close to transform their brother into a human tapestry.

A **Cubist** human tapestry.

"Twerp, among all the plans you've formulated over the years, this is bound to be the one where you've been asking the most for pain yet !" growled Lori menacingly.

"You're right, it is." admitted Lincoln. "But this shows how serious I am. For now, your stuff is safe. If all goes well for me tomorrow, all your possessions will be given back to you safe and sound, without the slightest scratch on them."

"And what if it doesn't ? What if you are, hypothetically speaking, incapacitated to go, because you are, still hypothetically speaking, tied up to a chair all day, being forced to hear the history behind all of Lori's selfies, then locked into a room full of Lily's 'Friday Tacos diapers', and used as my new training dummy for all my pitches and new wrestling moves ?" grunted Lynn intimidately, already thinking of said moves she was gonna try.

But even that didn't faze Lincoln. "Well, by this hypothetical assumption, I guess my friend will not hear of me for an entire day, and act as I told him to if he didn't. That means, making sure you NEVER see your things again ! And I do know you hold those too much dear to let such fate befall !"

"Linky... How could you ?" croaked Leni, her eyes going full puppy-dog.

That actually made Lincoln flinch. What he was doing was bad, from every standard he could think of, but he had to roll with it. This was the only way he could keep his sisters at bay.

"I... I can because I have to ! So, just don't interfere, and you'll get everything back. I'll even take whatever punishement come after that, but I just want to do this on my own. That's all I have to say." finished Lincoln, actually turning away from his sisters to make his point, but also so they wouldn't see his aparent shame.

The Loud Sisters put on betrayed faces, as they all walked silently out of the room, before closing the door. Once he was alone, Lincoln turned to the camera, which was looking very disappointed in him.

"I'm not proud of what I just did, not one bit, but I'll find a way to make them forgive me. Tomorrow will go without a hitch, that's what's important for me right now. This is my worst plan yet, but one that has to work out." heavily sighed Lincoln.

Not in the mood for any comics or video games, he actually decided to finish all his homework for next week, and the week after that. Everything so he shouldn't have to go out there to meet his sisters' betrayed gazes.

* * *

The evening had been unusually calm for a Friday Night. The only real sounds that were heard were Lisa's chemicals boiling, and Luna's half-hearted riffs on her guitar. No jokes from Luan, no balls kicked by Lynn, no arguing from the Twins.

At dinner, Lincoln had come with a blindfold to take his pizza slice, before immediately going back upstairs. Rita and Lynn Sr. were tempted to ask questions, but seeing the mood the house was plunging into, they thought that it would be best to give their children a little space. Maybe this mysterious affair would be over by tomorrow morning.

Finally, the lights got turned off, and everyone was carefully tucked in their beds.

Well, Lincoln was anyways, dreaming of the perfect day he'd have tomorrow. Ronnie Anne's face smiling would put a smile on his own face...

Because, uh, that's what friends do ! Yep, absolutely, no doubt here.

However, his siblings were not planning to sleep just now, as an emergency nocturnal meeting had been declared into Lori and Leni's room. The sisters were looking quite annoyed and sad among themselves, in addition to their sleepiness.

Lori took her position as Elder of the Loud Council, though using a fluffy toy instead of her shoe as gavel. The walls of the house were after all, thin as cardboard (and just as resistant).

"Alright girls, I think you all know the subject of our meeting." announced Lori quietly. "It concerns the only absent member of our council."

"I don't know, do we ? I'm not sure there is anyone missing here, all the siblings I **know of** are present in this room." grumbled Lynn sourly, bringing up angry muttering from the others.

"Yes, I know we all are angry at Lincoln right now." said Lori with suprising tact.

"Uh, duh. After all we've done for him, he pulls up something like that ? Thats just... rude !" said Luna, restricting some colorful vocabulary she could use right now.

"That Joke book has some of my greatest comedy notes of all time. This is _litteraly_ the worst." said Luan, before laughing at her own pun.

"Screwy... ye shall never be forgotten." whispered Lana, caressing a framed photo picturing her and her precious screwdriver, just after their victory over the Furnace Menace of 2015.

"Yes, I get it, and I was just as distraught before, if my blue pillow is any indication." said Lori, pointing at the mentionned object. Well, its shredded remains at least.

But with a renewed motivation on her face, she continued. "But then, I took a moment to think about it. What Lincoln did was lousy, but we did not do brilliant either."

"What ?!" whisper-yelled Lynn. "That's baloney ! We were only trying to help him !"

"Right after he told us – begged us – to do the exact opposite. He prayed us, bringing up our family union, for the sake of retaining his relation with someone dear to him. And what did we do ? We planned behind his back the moment he got up the stairs." insisted Lori.

This comment immediately made some cross faces morph into guilty ones.

"Why are you being so mature about it though ?" asked Lola.

"Because I know what it's like to be in a relationship, and not wanting your siblings to butt in, as helpful their intentions actually are." said Lori wisely, before cracking a more mischevious smirk. "Buuuuut~, that doesn't mean that this operation is still not going on."

"Alright, I know I'm like that a lot, but I'm not the only one lost here, right ?" asked Leni to the crowd.

"Nope, you're not alone." confirmed Lynn. "What do you mean we are not quitting the operation ? Didn't you just say you knew how akward siblings butting in could be ?"

"Besides, our possessions are still away, threatened by an impendent doom, that I for once, don't find amusing." murmured Lucy.

"Because, 1) We are not talking about raiding a relationship already installed, like me and Bobby Boo-Boo Bear. We are talking about the blooming relationship of our only brother, one he tries so hard to deny, despite all the signs turned against him. And 2), what's truly important here ? Replaceable stuff we can buy again or substitute, or our bro's happiness ?"

"She's, like, totally right. Plus, I bet if we actually pull it off, Linky will be so happy, he'll totally give our stuff back." said Leni ecstatically.

"An undercover operation, which success will bring gains for all sides of the conflict, both the organizers and the target. My silicon vertical writing surface ( _her chalkboard_ ) cannot wait." said Lisa with a faint smile.

Smiling, Lori brought her 'gavel' in the air. "All in favor of the motion, raise their hands." The decision was an unanimous 'yes'. "Motion passed then.", as she brought the toy down, elicting excited whispers from her sisters.

They were cut off as Lily let out a long and adorable yawn, reminding everyone the moon wasn't going down for at least 7 hours.

"Well, we'll go into the details tomorrow. We all need some good shuteye if we want to succeed. I thus declare this council over, and await for you at 9 a.m. tomorrow for further discussion of events." annonced Lori, banging her 'gavel' one last time.

On that, the Loud sisters regained their rightful rooms on their tiptoes, trepidating in excitation (more or less) over their future plan, towards their dozing and unsuspecting brother.

Tomorrow would be one noisy day. Nothing less to be expected from the Loud Family.

* * *

 **Author's Note :**

 **And there you have it, the first part of this little two-parter. Hope I didn't make Lincoln too mean to his sisters, though you might get surprised...**

 **Don't forget to review to tell me if I'm actually nailing the style of the original show, or even doing anything good at all...**

 **This is Superdimentio77, telling you to keep rocking ! STAGE DIVE !**

 **(*Plunges into the stack of Fanfictions like a graceful dolphin*)**


	2. Chapter 2

**It's not a date !**

 **Part 2 : Heavy Meddle 2 : Games and Girls**

 *** _Relaxing in a hamac, with sunglasses and a superior air_ ***

" **Ah~, to be famous. It's not easy being me, you know ? They demand more, always more, but in the end, I don't mind. * _Holds Faves and Follows, and use it like a fan*_**

 **They just love me, what can I do about it ?"**

 **Seriously though, I didn't expect that much feedback from you guys, and as such, I thank you for it, and apologize for being so slow to get that chapter out. Exams are approaching fast, so my pace is getting a bit too shaky for my liking.**

 **Anyways, hope you stay tuned, as I may have a little thing to say at the end. Enjoy !**

* * *

1 o'clock struck on Lincoln's wall clock, as the boy was slowly arranging his backpack, ready to leave. Taking his 20 dollars allowance, he noticed the camera focusing on him again, and sighed.

"Hi there. It's almost time to go, and this morning has been... cold, as expected. The moment I woke up at 10:30 and got out of my room, the Loud House got quiet. Noses in the air, not an eye turned in my direction, and bedroom doors closing in unison. I ate my Zombie Bran with the TV being my only source of distraction. I had the remote all for myself on an entire Saturday Morning, something I dreamt of for years, and yet I was praying someone would come and fight me for it." narrated Lincoln, his eyes moisterising. "I've ranted about wanting a calm week-end morning before, but not at that cost. I really want my loud sisters back."

Lincoln took a pause, silently thinking about his usual Saturday shenenigans. Parkour with Lynn, cartoons with Lana and Lola, dodging a freshly baked pie from Luan, hearing and writing poems with Lucy, the list went on. His eyes were getting blurry. Lincoln shook it off though. He had to hang on.

"It'll be alright. I'll make them forgive me, even if it costs me my dignity. And next week-end, it'll be like it never happened in the first place. But right now, Ronnie Anne is what matters. I've got my backpack, my money, clean clothes, and mint fresh breath. This will be the best lunch ever, right before I slave my soul off for mercy among my sisters. _*Deep exhale*_. Let's do this."

Lincoln opened the door to the empty corridor. He could hear his sisters minding their own business in their rooms, but all doors were closed.

' _So they can't see my cruddy face._ ' thought Lincoln with remorse. Shaking his head, he descended the stairs, and went to his mother, who was in the kitchen finishing the morning dishes.

"Mom, my homework are done, and Ronnie Anne have invited me for lunch at the arcade. Am I good ?" asked Lincoln.

"No problem honey, but be back at around 6, top. It's movie night, and you know how it always go in those cases."

* * *

 _A sight of pandemonium was falling ahead of the young hero. Howls in the night, vehemence of demons, and a discord that could very well bring the foundations of this place to mere rubble. The reason ? A matter of legends, stories that have swooned, or yet to swoon those fretting and fussing around the great council table._

 _A tale of two lovers over the seas, the recorded exploits of a man whose numerous getups made him a myth, the ballads of a legendary bard whose songs conquered crowds, the most amusant fooleries of the man with glasses and stach', a young team giving their all to shine on the fields where resonate the sound of the wooden bat, the fable of a man of the night's combat against the beast that only appears when the moon is full, the saga of monsters whose children's fear is necessary for their survival, a reclused princess whose long hair can give eternal youth, the adventures of a young genius girl and her mechanical feline, and a most simplistic fairy tale of foxes using peace and union to vainquish their foes._

 _But on this night, there could only be one. Only one story would be counted for all to enjoy, and THAT, was where all the conundrum resided. As for the hero himself, he had long tired of asking for the lore of his own hero, one of many trades and jacks. With his glare of steel, his fingers drummed meticulously on the wooden surface, as the wind-_

" _Alright, back off with the atmosphere already !" urged Lincoln, looking quite annoyed as he watched his sisters squabble relentlessly, his copy of 'Ace Savvy, The Movie' in hand. "Man, sometimes I do wonder how other families decide which movie to watch."_

* * *

Lincoln shuddered. It was now a major rule in this house about movie nights to come back at least one hour before, so different challenges could be acted in order to decide between all 13 different choices. Yes, the parents too had their individual choices, and they could sometimes get just as petty as their children.

"Don't worry, I'll be back before that. See you later, love you Mom !" said Lincoln, before departing to the entrance.

Rita Loud waited for the shutting sound of the door, indicating the departure of her sole son. When she did, she let a sigh. She hadn't asked any question about the rift that had appeared between him and his sisters, when she knew she should have. But she wanted him to at least enjoy this little time with the girl everyone knew he had a thing for, even if he desperately denied it. Questions would have to wait 'till tonight, and there would be awnsers.

But barely a couple of minutes later, the house's main stairway rumbled, which could only mean one thing to the mother. And sure enough, she saw every one of her 10 daughters with pleading smiles.

"Say mom, could we take the van for a little trip downtown ? You know, to solidify our bonds as sisters ?" proposed Lori, her sisters nodding to approve her decision.

Rita looked at her daughters with a raised eyebrow (?), analysing their expressions. Sure enough, they were all betraying some sort of nervousness, breaking into sweat, except Lily, who just looked happy to be included. Also, she could swear they were hiding something behind their backs. A trunk of some sort ? Maybe ?

They were clearly hiding something, and all her motherly instincts were pointing towards their brother. Again, she could have asked questions, but decided to see how things would play out before meddling, only with a little warning.

"I don't see why not. I just want you to know that wherever are you going, and whatever you'll be doing there, me and your father will hear about it. None of you have a problem with that, hmm ?" responded the mother. Her children's smiles tightened even more, and all silently shook their heads. "Good, then get going. Everyone is to come back at 6 o'clock, last limit. Be nice, and have a fun time."

"THANKS MOM, BYE !" said the ten girls together, before zooming off to the family vehicle, which in turn zoomed off to its destination. Mrs. Loud took a pause as she put the last clean plate on the shelf. In what kind of zany adventure were those kids getting themselves into this time ? None that could make them come back home by police cars, she hoped.

Halloween 2014 needn't to be repeated. Ever.

In the meantime though, best to prepare the house for their return. All she had to do was fetch her husband so he could help her on tonight's special dinner, one she was sure he wouldn't mind helping at all.

After all, nothing said 'Dinner table stories' like Rita Loud's Supreme Beef Lasagna.

* * *

The trip to the arcade had been throughly uneventful for Lincoln. The guilt had made him trudge along the way, but that was about it. Only a couple blocks away from the place, he forced himself to forget about this whole sister ordeal, to focus on the great time he would soon have with Ronnie Anne.

' _Speaking of the devil..._ ' thought Lincoln, seeing a familiar purple hoodie approach.

"Yo, Lincoln. How's life treating ya today ?" said Ronnie Anne with a smile, giving the white-haired boy a light punch to the shoulder as greeting.

"Oh, good." half-lied Lincoln, maintaining his smile. "What about you ? How's Bobby ?"

"Still smiling, still texting Lori 24/7. Though, he did get into meddler mode when I said I was meeting you today, but it didn't last long." said Ronnie Anne, shrugging.

"How'd you get him to step down ?" wondered Lincoln, hoping her method was better than his.

"Just talked straight to him, said I was enough of a grown-up to be friend with a boy, and he understood. Plus, he knows you pretty well. However, he did mention something about some strong words and eternal damnation from Lori if you hurt me in any way. What a doofus." admitted Ronnie Anne with a chuckle.

"Heh, classic Bobby." laughed Lincoln, secretly weeping over the fact that Bobby had been easily convinced through the very same method he had used. Then again, it was one-on-one, with gender roles inverted.

"And how'd you get your sisters to live the house without meddling ? I can tell by the lack of perfume, your casual outfit, and how your head in general doesn't look like the Jokester's on a bad hair day." softly mocked Ronnie Anne.

Lincoln cringed internally for an instant. She really didn't need to know about the worst solo scam he ever pulled off, and his second worst in general.

Halloween 2014 needn't to be repeated. **Ever**.

"Oh you know, a good talk, some chocolate and a bunch of favors, and it became no hassle at all." said Lincoln, trying to hide his nervousness with a laugh, which Ronnie Anne shared.

"Glad to hear it. Now come on, I'm famished. Let's get the grub !" said the tough girl, already running to the entrance of the arcade/diner.

"Hey, wait for me !" laughed Lincoln, following her inside with hurry. Though hadn't he ran along with such speed, mayhaps he would have noticed a very familiar van, parked across the street...

* * *

Greasy smell and 16-bit music invaded the two's minds, as the two preteens entered one of Royal Woods' most favourite hangout spots. This pleased Lincoln, the atmosphere almost taking his mind off his sister guilt conundrum. ' _This is gonna be great._ ' thought Lincoln confidently.

"Hello, welcome at Gus' Games and Grub. Table for two ?" asked a high-pitched voice, one that sounded quite familiar as well. Before them stood a... 'woman', no taller than a six year-old, with spiky red hair held into a ponytail. She sported a fitting tuxedo, sunglasses, and one could swear her two front row teeth looked a little strange, like marshmallows.

' _This is gonna be bad !_ ' thought Lincoln in terror, recognizing the voice and tone of her pagent winning sister.

Ronnie Anne was silent for a couple of seconds, like she was trying to analyse the situation. "Uh, aren't you a tad too... I mean, it's just that you look like-"

"-a six-year old ? Yeah, I get that a lot. Tragic body illness, no cure found to this day, but it shall never stop me to accomplish my part as a member of this society." responded the diminutive Maître d'Hotel, with such drama in her voice that an American Flag started waving behind her, before disappearing as fast as it had appeared.

"Wow, sorry about that. That's mighty brave of you, don't you think Lincoln ?" approved Ronnie Anne.

"Yeah, very brave." said Lincoln, his smile looking a little (crisped). "Say what is your name, o poor and courageous soul ?"

Not-Lola winced a bit, but caught herself quickly. "My name is, uh, Vicky ! Yep, I'm Vicky alright !". Unnoticed by everybody, a flower had wiltered on the spot for absolutely no reason. "Anyways, may I lead you to your table, Monsieur et Mademoiselle ?"

"Since when does this place even has this kind of service ?" asked Ronnie Anne as she followed 'Vicky' around.

"It's a special edition day, only happens once a year. Our group travel along diners in all the country, and one lucky couple get to have a special service, along with free tokens of course." explained 'Vicky'.

Lincoln splutered his words hearing that, and Ronnie Anne raised an eyebrow. "Uh, we aren't exactly a couple. Or together for that matter. We're just friends."

"You're sure ? My mistake. You two do look cute together though." teased 'Vicky', wriggling her eyebrows.

"Hey, how about we get back to that table ?!" interrupted Lincoln hastily, wanting what was surely only the introduction to his problems to end already.

'Vicky' frowned slightly at his haste, but complied anyway. She led them to a table that had been arranged for this occasion. The table was wiped squeaky clean, the seats were fluffed with additonal cushions and velvet pillows. Clean plates with clean silverware, wine glasses, and even lit candles on a chandelier.

' _Oh in the name of Ace Savy's awesomeness, what did I do to deserve this ?!_ ' mentally screamed Lincoln. "N-N-Not bad, eh Ronnie Anne ?"

"Yeah... nice." replied the tomboy, looking quite confused. The two took place at each side of the table, fidgeting to appreciate the full comfort of the soft cushions.

"Comfortable ? Today, we have a special offer : half a ham-pepperoni pizza to share for two persons, sodas of the day, and three free tokens each for further amusement." announced 'Vicky' with a posh tone. Seeing the two nodding, the little redhead hurried back to the kitchen, with unnatural grace and poise.

Ronnie Anne turned back to Lincoln with a quizzical look. "Lincoln, was that-"

"A rather strange event ? Yep, totally thought that too ! But don't know a thing about it though, no ma'am !" blubbered Lincoln, already on edge.

"Right... so, got any goods on Tuesday's math exercises ? As your sis Luan would say, that x really _crosses_ me sometimes." joked Ronnie Anne.

This pun actually made Lincoln snort right out of his nervousness. "Well, I did a marathon of boredom yersteday, so I've got them all done. If you need help on that, don't hesitate to ask."

"Really ? Alright, but I can't take your word on all of them. You know how's Mrs. Johnson with copy-pasters." said Ronnie Anne, chuckling.

"Yeah, you kids wouldn't want to be _school_ ded, hehe !" cracked a new voice, belonging to a girl with braces, long... **pink** hair, along with a red japanese maid outfit.

Lincoln's jaw dropped. What was he looking at ? No really, WHAT was he looking at ? Were they even trying to be credible ?!

Ronnie Anne wistled, impressed by the girl's outfit. "Woah, like in the mangas. Though, is there like a theme going on with this lunch, or is it Pot Pourri ?"

"Yep on the latter one ! At the end, you get to give us an advice on which animation you found to be the best. I certainly hope to win, and not by a _hair_." laughed Not-Luan as she stroked her pink hair. Before dropping the basket, she added a little something to the table. A pretty large pink flower, resting on a nenuphar.

"This is a Lotus Flower. Back in Japan, it symbolises beauty, purity, and even... love. You could say it helps feelings to _bloom_. A bit _weed_ , am I right ?" cackled the maid.

She then posed a basket with some cinnamon sticks in front of them. "Here's a little something to wait up on the pizza, on the house. Courtesy of **Luca Meringue**. Hope it'll get you to _stick_ around !"

And with a laugh, she got back into the kitchen, all the way dancing with fans and pink petals showering her trail, under the stares of several boys, clearly 'impressed' by her outfit.

The two kids watched the maid disappear, with different expressions. "We are in for some lunch, aren't we ?" said Ronnie Anne with a calm expression, opposing Lincoln's straining smile.

"Looks like it'll be one price-worthy lunch, alright." nervously chuckled Lincoln, grabbing a cinnamon stick. Though nervous on the outside, the sole Loud brother was feeling ire beginning to boil on the inside.

* * *

The two friends then went back to chatter for a while, laughing as they made a Top 20 of the cheesiest things they heard during Lori and Bobby's conversaitons, whether by phone or face-to-face.

"I mean, 'I might be chocolate, because your smile is making me melt' ? You don't get cheesier than that !" guffawed Ronnie Anne.

"I don't know, remember two weeks ago, after Lori's big test, when she said that she survived it because the 'resplending image of her beloved guided her through the Tundra of the white page' ?" sniggered Lincoln, prompting them to laugh even harder, to the point where they were banging the table with their fists.

"Ah, it's for those kind of lines that I hope they stay together forever." said Ronnie Anne, wiping a tear away. "Hey, did you know Liam finally got together with Tabby ? I heard those two are even forming their own band right now."

Lincoln beamed at this. "That's great ! Luna will be pleased to know that !"

"Hello, chaps !" said a grat-ish voice, accompanied with a strong British accent. This voice belonged to a tall girl with long black hair, a dark purple leather jacket, ripped jeans, and dark blue boots. She also wore black sunglasses, and holded an acoustic guitar, with a mini stereo behind her. "Enjoying your lunch so far ?"

Lincoln mentally facepalmed. ' _Speak of the Luna, and her accent shall appear..._ ', trying to keep a neutral face through all this.

"Uh, hi. Are you our next entertainement until the grub arrives, or whatever ?" asked Ronnie Anne with a raised eyebrow.

"Quite right, love !" approved the Rocking Girl, whose name certainly wasn't the equivalent of Moon in Spanish. "The name's Natalie Kahh, travelling musician and forever rocker. Normally, I play some tunes that would make you jam right on your tables, but I was asked for something a little more... atmospheric."

And with that, the sounds of other clients seemed to silence, as 'Natalie' began to strum soft notes from her guitar, a piano music echoing from the stereo. Lincoln's eyes widened at the soft tune, thinking he had heard it before.

" _I was lost, till he found me._

 _And although he confounds me,_

 _By his white hair, is where I know I should be~."_

Lincoln's head fell on his crossed arms, right on the table. She really had made a parody of this song, and worse, she was directly looking at him while singing it !

" _Yes I know, he's a doofus,_

 _Who's kinda hard to focus._

 _And yet, I'm drawn to him, magically~._

 _And through every moment of turmoil,_

 _And moments of pain~,_

 _Through all of our misadventures,_

 _One thing remains~._

 _Facing mockeries, bullies and jarheads,_

 _I'll never be blue~._

 _As long as I'm laughing,_

 _With you~."_

Then, Natalie's voice slightly changed, as she turned to Ronnie Anne, who was listening with curious, but shiny eyes.

" _I saw her, and no other._

 _I'm kind of a lonely brother._

 _When I spotted,_

 _Her luscious black hair~._

 _Yes my room, is all messy,_

 _And I can laugh akwardly._

 _I like comics too much,_

 _But I know she doesn't care~._

 _'Cause I know I'm not very sportive,_

 _I know I trip~._

 _But no matter how large the rift,_

 _I know I'll leap~._

 _I know it doesn't matter,_

 _If I don't have a clue~._

 _As long as I'm laughing,_

 _With you~._

Natalie then went for a short solo on her guitar, leaving Lincoln to lift his head off the table. An uneasy blush spread across his face, knowing full well who the lyrics were describing. But then, he looked at Ronnie Anne, who catched his look, and turned her own head.

But for a split second, Lincoln could have sworn he saw her actually blushing as much as him. This song was making her feel just as embarassed. The white-haired boy felt sadness at first, then anger, brooding over how akward his sisters were making his life, **again**. ' _As Lola says so much :_ _ **They. Will. PAY**_ _ **!**_ '

" _Even though, we just stand here,_

 _And we sip on some root beer,_

 _Here with you dear,_

 _Is how we both make our stand~._

 _They might say, you're a Lame-o,_

 _And that you're one big bruto,_

 _All I need is your hand,_

 _In my hand~._

 _Baby, I know I can be pushy._

 _You're not all wrong there._

 _I know that I'm a bit nasty._

 _Eh, I got worse for wear._

 _(beat)_

 _Though one thing I'm understanding,_

 _No matter what we go through~,_

 _I'd rather go through it,_

 _I know I'll get through it,_

 _If I'm laughing through it,_

 _With youuuuuu~._

And with a few vibrant notes, the music ended. Across the dinner, people applauded the musician, who took an appreciative bow, before turning back to her main clients.

The female part of the duo looked quite stunned by the song, her blush having died down. "Wow, that was a... pretty nice song. You got one chill voice."

"Ah, always eager to please, love." grinned 'Natalie'. She then turned to the boy who, without a doubt, was not her brother. "What about you, lad ? Good tune ?"

Lincoln was still smiling, and it would take someone who knew him very well, plus a microscope, to see the trembling corners of his smile, or his eye twitches rippling at high speed. "Oh yes, very good song, five stars, you're going places." said Lincoln calmly.

"Aw, thanks." said the black-haired girl, happy of the nice feedback.

"Oh, speaking of places, you said you like Rock'n'roll, right ? That means you must know of Mic Swagger, right ?" questionned Lincoln, getting closer to 'Natalie', until his head was close enough to be threatening without Ronnie Anne seeing his face. "Well, he has a concert coming in the neighboring town, and I do know where to get tickets. **For real cheap**." stressed the boy, with a shark smile that rivaled the ones of his glitter-obsessed sister.

'Natalie' gulped, feeling genuinely afraid for her soon-to-be ex-possession. "Um, y-y-you hold that thought, I have to see something back in the kitchen. Grub to come soon, so just relax, and uh, ta-ta !" blubbered the girl, before zooming back with her stuff through the staff door.

Ronnie Anne looked confused. "Maybe she doesn't like Mic Swagger ?" attempted the latino gal.

"Nah, I'm sure she just already has a ticket, so she doesn't need another." awnsered Lincoln, slightly grinning at the bit of revenge he just got over his sisters. "Then again..."

* * *

 _In Gus' Games and Grubs' kitchen..._

Luna quickly closed the doors behind her, under the looks of her many other sisters.

"Guys, I think Linc is onto us !" said Luna, sending the others in a frenzy, which was immediately taken under control by their leader.

"Guys, quiet !" ordered Lori. "Look, it doesn't matter now, we stick to the plan. I'm almost done with the pizza. Our little decorator did a wonderful job, even though she is gonna need a bath when we get back."

Lily giggled, not caring one bit about the many pepperoni slices stuck on her body. Everyone, even the stoic ones, awwed to this sight.

"Looks like Lily sure knew how to _slice_ this one !" laughed Luan, as the others groaned and rolled their eyes, while Lily blew a raspberry.

"I've still got several orders to do, just so the other clients don't get suspicious, so when you're done, come back to help me out. Lisa and Lucy, prepare yourselves, it's your cue soon." said Lori.

"Widely understood. This display might not be my best work, or any of my work really, but it should accomplish its objective with certitude." replied Lisa, looking behind her at a black box the size of a referigerator.

"My costume is ready, and so are my cards." droned Lucy, dressed in a seer outfit she loved to wear. " _Sigh_. I already predict a dark and bleak future for all of us if we strain Lincoln's relationship with Ronnie Anne. My non-existant heart is not ready for his disappointement."

"Lose the attitude, Luce." said Lori, narrowing her eyes. "We're going to get them together, and it's gonna be the most precious thing we'll ever see. That, and if we mess up, Bobby might actually break up with me again. So no room for error !"

"MA'AM, YES MA'AM !" saluted the Loud Sisters at once.

Lori smiled. They were determined to make this the greatest day of their brother's life. ' _This is going to work, no prob !_ ' thought the young adult with conviction.

Then, she turned to face her oldest younger sister, and her smile dropped. "Leni, are you wearing a scarf to hide your identity again ?" asked Lori dryly.

Clad in her normal Seafoam Green outfit with an orange scarf around her neck, Leni smiled. "Pff, you think I'm dumb or something ? It's only part of my disguise." she said coyly. She then proceded to tap a little yellow note to her forehead with a piece of tape.

It read " **NOT-LENI** ", with all the letters crooked, but in the right direction ( _We've got to give her that at least_ ).

"Voilà ! Linky won't suspect a thing." said Leni, proud of herself. So proud that she didn't notice her siblings either groaning, slapping their foreheads, or banging their heads onto a table. Lisa, who had done the first action, sorted a notebook and a pen from her pocket, her log tape still missing.

"Note to self : Resume researches to construct an absolute and pinnacled proof that Leni and I are indeed related. The birth certificates simply won't convince me anymore." noted Lisa with a frown.

* * *

 _Back with Lincoln and Ronnie Anne..._

The crumbs of the last cinnamon stick crunched inside Lincoln's mouth, as he guzzled the 'delicacy' down his throat. It made him relax a bit inside, as he continued chatting with Ronnie Anne, this time talking about his and his family's recent adventures.

"And guess who was that mysterious guy ? Mic Swagger himself ! You should have seen Luna afterwards, she was litteraly bouncing off the walls for a week !" finished Lincoln. "We didn't blame her for that, it was a dream coming true for her."

"Boy, sounds like something you'd do if you met Ace Savvy in person." teased Ronnie Anne, wiping the cinnamon crumbs off her lips.

"My dream might be a tad harder to reach. But hey, if Lisa can create semi-intelligent life from a pile of garbage, who knows what she'll be able to conceive in five years or so. A man can dream." said Lincoln wistfully.

"Dork." chuckled Ronnie Anne.

As the two made a fist bump, the scent of pepperonis and melted cheese invaded their nostrils. A little bit of drool escaped both of their lips. Lunch was about to be served !

But what stopped Lincoln from truly enjoying it was the person carrying the meal to their tables. Dressed in a shining lime green ball gown that would make Cinderella eat her glass slippers, was a young woman with onyx-coloured hair. Her heels clicked again the hard floor, yet not once did her stepping look the slightest of ridicule, her peach-coloured skin glistening in the sunlight.

Boys all around had stopped what they were doing to gaze dumbstruck at this girl who had leaped right out of a fairy tale book. The only out of place thing someone could find about her would be the plate containing half of a greasy pizza in one hand, and a couple of soda cans in the other.

Lincoln's jaw went slacked for two reasons. One, he couldn't believe how well his fashionista of a sister was pulling off that dress or that gait. Two, he couldn't **believe** his sisters once again picked such an eye catching costume in front of everybody. And by everybody, he essentially meant Ronnie Anne, who he could have sworn had let a chuckle escape her lips.

"Greetings, dear customers. How do you do by this fine day ?" recited the 'fair maiden' flowingly, as though she was playing on a stage. Lincoln had to admit, he was impressed by her vocabulary, and her acting. "I am named Leni...a. Lenia, that is how ones of my household named me."

Lincoln wanted to facepalm, but heard many other slapping sounds coming from the kitchen doing it for him, so he restrained himself.

"But enough blabber that would waste your fine time. Here are your delicacies for this fine afternoon, or 'Grub' as some would say." said Leni(a), as she made a little twirl before graciousely putting the pizza plate between the two, and gracefully deversing some of the soda cans' contents inside the chic wine glasses. The beverages fizzled and fumed a bit, indicating their upmost freshness, which was the equivalent of an exceptional 'Cuvée' for the children. "Ooooh..." breathed the two.

"Anything else to please your meal, sir and ma'am ?" said Leni(a), acting more like a stewart than the elegant princess her garments suggested.

Impressed how his usually ditzy sister had managed to stay focused on her character, and knowing how much of a woman-child she was, Lincoln decided to go easy on her. "Nah, we're good. Nice dress by the way." complimented Lincoln.

Lenia broke her professional mask with a grateful smile. "Aww, thanks Lincoln. I-I-I mean, uh, thank you sir. See you at hom- uh, someday soon, maybe !" thanked Leni(a) urgently, before bopping her dress all the way to the kitchen. Her voice could be heard still. "Girls, did you hear that ?! He loves my dress !". It was followed by a chorus of hushes.

"I... don't know what to think of that." admitted Ronnie Anne. She turned her eyes to the grub, and her eyebrow was raised once again. "Or that for that matter."

Lincoln immediately saw what she was talking about. On the pizza half, the little ham pieces, instead of being their usual square shape, had been cut into little hearts. And worse, the pepperonis had been rearranged to look like a big red heart, and cuts on the cheese inside were depicting the letters and symbol "R+L".

The boy though, seemed very placated at the moment, harbouring a zen smile. "Yeah, this day is full of surprises, isn't it ?" said Lincoln with an even voice.

"Wow, you're taking it pretty well. I'm impressed you're keeping a straight face through all of this." praised Ronnie Anne.

"Well, I do know quite a bit when it comes to mish-mash and chaos. Compared to my sisters at home, this is tame." commented Lincoln. "Hey, do you mind if I take a minute outside ? I could use a bit of fresh air."

"Suit yourself, dude."

Lincoln thanked her, and walked outside. Ronnie Anne noticed that he was taking the cushion with him, but paid it no mind. She took a moment for herself to look at the arcade machines and their players, musing over which one they would do first. She sipped a bit of her soda, chuckling a bit over the fact that she was doing so in one of those fancy glasses only her parents normally drank from.

Of course, had Ronnie Anne's attention been not diverted away from the window, she might had noticed what her friend was doing outside.

Which basically consisted of him screaming hard into his pillow, letting out every insult, curse, and bad word he knew, even the very few he knew in French, German, and Greek.

While keeping the cushion securely strapped to his face, Lincoln's body went wild with rage, stomping the ground, bouncing on the pavement, and making various gestures with his hands, the most proeminent being the classical strangling gesture. The passing bystanders wisely chose to not interupt him, and tried to ignore the strange street show the boy was offering.

After a solid minute of venting, Lincoln was left panting, before he straightened up and rearranged his clothes and hair. Returning inside, he sat back onto his seat like nothing ever went wrong. "So, we eat or what ?" said Lincoln, cutting the pizza half into two smaller halves.

"You betcha !" grinned Ronnie Anne, taking her slice, and quickly taking the first bite. Her eyes widened. "Holy schmoly, that's good stuff ! I mean, the grub is usually decent here, but this is something else !"

Lincoln took a bite of his own, and his eyes widened as well. Lori really outdid herself with this one, he could tell by the perfect amount of origan poured on it. It had to be her work, as he knew Lori had asked for some cooking lessons from him and Mom, in order to gain some points with Bobby. She had set the kitchen on fire once, but other than that, it went pretty good.

The two kids enjoyed their meal in relative silence, appreciating every bite they were taking, though Lincoln couldn't help but think what his sisters would do next, and could only pray the heavens that it wouldn't be as embarassing as the stunts they had already pulled off.

Finishing their food, the kids let out a healthy belch at the same time, making them blush for an instant, before laughing it off.

"Gosh, we're gross." admitted Ronnie Anne with a pat on her stomach. "Now, how's about we get some tokens, so the massacre can begin ?"

"Ha ! I simply underestimated you last time. But now that I know your skills, I'm entering pro mode. Prepare to learn, because Master Lincoln is here to teach ya !" boasted Lincoln with a 'ninja pose' that would make any Sensei faint... with laughter.

But as Lincoln and Ronnie Anne kept kidding, they did not see the sneaky approach of a tall black box right behind them. But their attention was grabbed by a rather... diminutive man.

"Excuse me, young builders of our great **future** , may I take some of your **time** , so you can **see** and hear what I can propose you in that find afternoon." said the man, in a familiar overcomplicated way, with a familiar lisp in his speech.

The small man had a jacket with red and blue vertical stripes over a white shirt, yellow pants, white shoes, a flat round hat, and a cane. He was basically the first image that comes to mind when someone thinks 'Con artist'. Added to this outfit were big round glasses, wild grey hair, and a bushy grey mustache.

Lincoln's expression fell into a huge deadpan one when he saw 'him'. ' _And I thought you were the smart one._ ' "And who are you, o intriguing stranger ?" asked Lincoln, trying to sound as clueless as possible.

"I am known as Professor Ludwig Schlau, inventor in many scientific domains." announced the professor, tipping his hat. "My main fields of studies pin themselves onto horology and creation of artificial intelligence."

"Horo-huh ?" said Lincoln, thinking he had heard the term before.

"I think that means the specific studying of time. Bobby had it for one of his exams once. And boy, did he flunk it." deduced Ronnie Anne with a shrug.

"You would be correct, fellow homo sap- I mean, ma'am." awnsered 'Ludwig' with a tinge of nervousness. "But tell me, what do you think would happen if those two fields of expertise were to be crossed with eachother ?"

"A... time machine ?" attempted Lincoln.

"Nay, my good sir. Although, your idea does hold potential." said 'Ludwig', mumbling the last part while tapping his chin, before shrugging it off. "No, what I created is what many have attempted through 'Magic' hogwash, and which I pulled off through the use of pure and beautiful science : A way to actually produce an irrefutable tirade of your soon-to-be immediate existence, simply by operating a facial analysis. And yes, the short version is that it tells you your future. Behold !"

As the inventor rushed to get the black drape off the box, Lincoln was already predicting his own future. ' _Lucy's in the box. Lucy's in the box. Lucy's in the- **OH SWEET MOTHER OF SURPRISES** , Lucy's in the box._' frowned the young boy internally.

Indeed, the box looked very much alike one of those old mechanical fortune tellers that one could find around old fairs, some of them even guaranted to make wishes come true. ( _Think there was a movie about that, or something, a good one I heard. Anyways !_ )

Inside the box, behind transparent glass, was... let's not kid ourselves, it was Lucy in a Madam Irma costume, completed with her pack of Tarot Cards. Even so, she seemed to naturally emit such an aura of mystery around her, of secrets that shouldn't be revealed. Pretty ironic, if you considered the 'automat's' primary function.

"I present to you, "The Mysterious Madam Lumina", which supposes that she... just a moment please." mumbled 'Ludwig'. He sorted out a little note from one of his pockets, and read it. "That she lights a way inside the dark, inexorable, icy, pitch-black, soul-crushing abysses of time."

"Do you feel that shiver too ?" pitched a trembling Lincoln, to which Ronnie Anne nodded back.

"Hello mortals of the present." saluted 'Lumina' out of the blue, making everyone yelp, including the inventor. "For a measly cold-hearted quarter, my vision can reachthe depths of your being, to tell you the right way to pursue a life devoid of gloom and problems."

The purple-orange duo eyed eachother for a moment, before the purple one gave in. "Well, that allowance has got to be wasted some way or another."

She reached into her pocket, pulling out a rusty quarter, and inserted it in the designed slit. 'Madam Lumina' then straightened up like a well-oiled automat, and began looking at her cards.

"May your future be seen, Ronnie Anne Santiago. Hmm... I see that you are a person of great strength and pride, who does not hesitate to make others remember it. A tough gal in all its splendour."

Ronnie Anne smiled at this. Even though she had stopped to 'bully' Lincoln, she did keep a regular appointement to take down a notch all of those machos around the school, not hesitating to get her hands dirty on the job. A couple of atomic wedgies were also delivered around the week to the most stubborn ones.

"But though you seem tough, your heart does allow itself a soft spot. Indeed, you do not place yourself above what you are or your feelings, whether it is for friends or, say, a big brother."

Lincoln nodded at 'Lumina's' statement. Rough on the outside, tender on the inside. Something he learned through all the fun times they had together. ' _As friends._ ' thought Lincoln with shifty eyes.

"But !" suddenly expressed the dark-haired fortune teller, her hidden eyes looking right into Ronnie Anne's. "I also see a desire burning into you. A deep desire to let your softer being express itself for something- no, to **someone**.

"But your heart is parasited by uncertainty and fear. Fear of what the others will think of you. Fear of how weak you could be seen as. But above all, you fear that this person won't return the affection, that it'll be a failure, that you'll be a failure."

At this point, Ronnie Anne had her eyes downcasted, rubbing her arm with shame and the shadow helping to hide her bashful blush.

Lincoln was silently fuming on the side. "What the heck is she doing ?!" whisper-yelled Lincoln.

But the 'AI' wasn't finished just yet. "What I truly see in your future are regrets, that will continue to obscure the rest of your days, if you do not take action. But you are not too late yet. Seize the chance, open your heart, and find yourself into his skinny, but powerful arms, hearing his heart beat through his **orange shirt** , and his **white hair** blowing into the wind." finished 'Lumina', strangely keeping the drama top notch with her somber voice.

' _Alright, enough of this !_ ' thought Lincoln, spitting off bits of the cushion he had begun to bite from to keep his ire under control. He passed a confused Ronnie Anne, and inserted his own quarter. "Alright, Miss Lulu, my turn."

The black bangs of 'Madam Lumina' bounced as she jolted up, like she had just rebooted. She took her tarot cards, and looked at the full-fleshed boy, who glared back at her.

"I see... I see that you, Lincoln Loud, are a man who has made trying to find order in chaos his everyday life." analyzed the little foreseer.

"Because of whom, I wonder ?" mumbled Lincoln sarcastically to himself.

"Yet as you try to grasp what's going on around you, you do not take the time to understand what's happening inside you. Your thoughts mix themselves, you are confused, you do not see, nor feel, true feelings bubbling up. I see voices urging you to reach on, but you refuse still."

"Again, _whom_ I wonder ?" hissed Lincoln quietly.

"Do not waste time, my white-haired friend. Tell her how you love her laugh, how her freckles make her look so much more beautiful, how her hair resplendish with the sweet scent of strawberries. We- **I** know that you have felt this before, as close members of your family have told you before. Listen to them, grab her while she's there, Lincoln.

"Also, to reach the best of luck, do not hesitate to help your sisters with their poetic problems, especially * _cough cough_ * one that walks the never-ending path of darkness. And make her cookies sometimes. She adores dark chocolate ones. With bat-shaped chocolate chips."

"You are digressing from the subject, my dear, **functionning** machine, who shouldn't even be **coughing**." stressed the 'Professor', pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

Lincoln was thankful it wasn't much of a hot day today, otherwise he would have fainted from the share heat he was experiencing, as he could _litteraly_ feel his own blood boiling. _They were not even trying at this point !_ With great effort, he stopped himself, not wanting to explode in front of Ronnie Anne, figuratively or litteraly. He wasn't even sure which one right now.

Taking calming breaths, he adressed the pale automat. "Actually, I have another question. For my future that is."

"Does it concern love ? Or creepling darkness ? They go more hand-in-hand that one might think, you know." said 'Lumina' cryptically, earning another groan from 'Ludwig'.

"Actually, it's about love. **Family** love. You see, my poor little sister Lucy, has lost a very important book of hers." said Lincoln, false woe in his voice.

"A... book, you say ?" said 'Lumina', a bit of fear appearing in her emotionless voice.

"Yes, 'Vampires of Melancholia', fascinating read. Anyways, she lost her fifth tome, and is desperate to know the Big Revelation absolutely **everyone** is talking about right now. And I'd really want to know that big, juicy, extremely spoilery secret, so my sister could finally be happy. She **adores** knowing before she reads." explained Lincoln, a wicked grin forming on his face.

The laws of machinery decided to take a break, as 'Lumina' broke into a sweat, her frail body slightly trembling. "W-W-Well, I think she'd prefer reading it herself. I do detect slight mischief and rashness in your tone. Do not do everything you could regret."

Lincoln tapped a finger on his chin in reflexion. "Perhaps you're right. Maybe I shouldn't- oh wait, I remember now ! I already read it on the internet !" laughed Lincoln, slapping his forehead in realization.

'Lumina' was shaking like a leaf by now. "You do ?" she squeaked, terror very present in her tone.

Lincoln gave his 'non-sister' the evilest smirk and look he could muster. He watched as her trembling intensified, and his own repressed anger made him enjoy every second of it. "Why yes. You see, it turns out that Edwin's mother-"

But he didn't get to finish his sentence, as the realistic human machine began to spazz out. "Systems failing, cookies invading, pop-up clicked, bzzt bzzt and all that. Gotta go, have faith in yourself, lookbothwaysbeforecrossingtheroadBYE !" were 'Madam Lumina's' last words, before she forcefully closed the black curtains of her booth, and turned off the electricity from the inside.

"Oh, now you've done it ! Have you any idea how long it's gonna take me to reboot her ?!" chided the very short genius, making his anger look very convincing.

Not convincing enough to fool the taller boy though, as he plunged his malicious stare into the ones of 'Pr. Schlau'. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to **break** her. I'll owe it to you, I swear, I'll **tape** it into my mind."

The scientist raised a brow at his declaration. "Your sentence is grammatically odd. And why do you feel the need to stress the words 'break' and _oooooooh_..." droned 'Ludwig', catching up on the hidden threat. His brow began to sweat, and a shaky grin appeared on his face. "N-N-Now, my good fellow, there is no real harm done. She's not that, * _gulp_ *, broken. Nothing I didn't foresee in my, * _heavier gulp_ *, records. Hey I just remembered that I was needed elsewhere five minutes ago ! So, uh, cheerios !". And with that, the scientist dropped a little pouch on the table, and displayed some impressive strength by zooming off while pushing the black booth all the way back through the kitchen doors.

Lincoln panted a bit, the pent up frustration beginning to take a real (toll) on him. Noticing this, Ronnie Anne's tone turned worried. "Lincs, you're alright ? You look kinda frazzled."

Realizing his present condition, Lincoln straightened up and exhaled some air. "Sorry, guess I'm not as good at handling chaos as I thought I was." admitted Lincoln, rubbing the back of his head.

"Don't bust your socks about it. If you're cool, I'm cool. Now, how about some games already ?!" bellowed the tomboy, clutching the little pouch, which contained the promised tokens.

"Lead the way, comrade ! Let's get us some zombie brains !" joined Lincoln, putting his backpack on his shoulders, and running after her with a smile.

* * *

 _Back in the kitchen..._

Hidden behind the counter, Lori watched her brother racing her boyfriend's sister to the games. "This friendzone is getting worse than Eliza and Bradley of _Dream Boat_ 's last season." sighed the 'sistriarch', rubbing her temples.

"Man, can we even pull this off ? Lincoln is getting really pi... pretty angry back there." said Luna, worry spread all over her face.

Lori took great notice of Luna's doubt. After all, she was Lori's second-in-command when it came to maturity or responsability. Leni was... Leni, and Lisa, although smart, wasn't an expert when it came to really get people, even her own siblings.

Heck, Luna could be a great deal more mature than her sometimes. And sometimes, she would also try stage diving on five-year-olds. But the fact remained that if Luna felt that way, then there was reason to be worried.

"Well we can't quit now ! This ship is sinking faster than that... big... boat I forgot the name off !" argued Lola, though not much angry as she was pressured.

"Yeah, but, look at Lucy !" argued the rocker back, pointing at her goth sister, being craddled by Luan as she rocked back and forth.

"Edwin... spoilers... Lincoln... his eyes... such disappointement..." whispered Lucy, as Luan brushed her hair tenderly.

"We must not give up dear sistren." announced Lisa. "We still have one tactic left. And even if that was to fail, do not worry, as I have already construced a follow-up to this operation. It'll be as easy as to take candy from a baby." She promptly received pepperoni slices at the back of her head, and glared at the launcher, who smiled back. "Granted, I could have used a better term. Your sweets are safe, you little glutton." Lily clapped happily at this.

"Alright, Leni and Luna, you keep getting the others' orders, it there are any." ordered Lori around. "Luan, you stay with Lucy and get her from _depressed mop_ , to usual _less depressed mop_. Lynn and Lana, you know exactly what to do. Lola and Lily, you stay to help me. And Lisa, you make sure that backup plan of yours is ready. C'mon, move it people !"

The sisters dispersed, as Lisa joined a dark corner of the kitchen. There, she looked at a certain large object stocked up behind it, hidden from everyone's sight.

Her grin streched wide, revealing the mad scientist inside her. "Do not worry, my plan is ready at its foremost." cackled Lisa quietly, looking at her reflection in the dark pink goo bubbling behind the window.

 **Author's note : Did I say this would be a two-parter ? I meant three of course ! This fic got longer than I intended it to be, for the better I hope. This part got a bit stuffy at the end, I hope it did make you laugh, at least a bit. Sorry for Lincoln too, but it'll get better, I promise. Next part, there will be feels, hard ones.**

 **Anyways, I apologize again for the lateness. I'm bad at stay focused, what can I say. But kudos to you guys, and keep those reviews coming, I love them reviews ! Oh, and signal me if you get some of the references in this chapter, especially to one show in particular.**

 **As for what I wanted to announce, it's not yet official, but I might do another Loud House Fic. A Crossover this time. With which universe you may ask ? Well...**

" _ **Long ago, two races ruled over Earth..."**_

 **This is Superdimentio77, saying that it doesn't matter if you prefer mud or glitter, you're still awesome in my book !**


	3. Chapter 3

**It's not a date !**

 **Part 3 : Heartbreak...?**

 **WARNING ! BEFORE PROCEEDING, READ THIS, VERY IMPORTANT !**

 **Alright, so... this is the end, as you probably got by the Complete tag. I thank all of you for continuing to read this Fanfic, or coming to read it just then. But that's not why I installed that huge sign up there.**

 **In this chapter is a rather... out of place moment. Moreover, it's a bit of OOC from Lincoln's part. Well, not just that, it's an entire story part that for something such as the Loud House, can seem... harsh. You'll recognize it when it begins, but I must advise viewer discretion on this scene. If you are too sensible, or can't handle those kind of emotions, watch out for HUGE BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS.**

 **Now, it's not to say this story doesn't have a happy ending, but there will be tears. From them, and maybe even from you. I did shed one while writing this. You've been warned.**

 **Anyways, hope you're confortable, and enjoy.**

* * *

' _Right. Punch, left ! Jump, double jump, spin kick ! Come on, gotta get that combo out !_ ' thought Lincoln, highly engrossed in his game of _Avenue Brawler II_. Mastering his main character, _Lyo_ , he was in a fierce match against Ronnie Anne, and her ferocious _Chun-Kick_.

The two were down to their last HP, and were on the edge of their toes, trying to get any advantage on the other. Lincoln looked like he was ready to unleash one ultimate combo. ' _Gotta back a bit, and... Right Left Down Down Up Up Kick Punch Jump UPPERCUT !_ '

Lincoln grinned as his character went to grab Ronnie Anne's, but fell down as _Chun-Kick_ suddenly made a backflip leap in extremis, passing right over L _yo_ , before going for the kill. She grabbed the Judo expert with her powerful legs, passed him over her head, and planted him right into the street. Litteraly, his upper body had gone through the concrete.

 _Chun-Kick_ rejoiced, as her victory was displayed in golden letters, and her player basked in triumph. "Heck yeah ! That's what you get, kicked your butt straight to the sun and all the way back !" cheered Ronnie Anne, getting down with her victory dance.

Lincoln sighed, but he wasn't angry at all. He had fought, he had lost, and certainly not to the worst person. "Great game, Ronnie Anne. I guess that makes our grand total, 12 victories for you, 6 for me."

"Well, make that 11 for me. I can't really count the time you were so tired you passed on the machine one fair victory. A funny one, but not a fair one." chuckled Ronnie Anne. "And right back at ya for the game, you almost got the best of me with that combo ! Now, where to go next ?"

Lincoln tapped his chin in thought. "Well, wanna try shakin' it on the dance floor again ?" he proposed, pointing at the Dance Battle machine.

But before Ronnie Anne could nod, a loud voice mocked the two. "Ha ! Look at those ninnies, going for some lame dancing game ! If you wanna dance, go try some ballet, nerds !"

Lincoln stiffened, his face crisping in surprise and annoyance, instantly recognizing the false raspy voice. He turned around, and sighed in resignation at the sight deployed before him. ' _I'm not even surprised at this point._ '

The mean voice belonged to an early teen, wrapped up in stereotypical street clothing. Red hoodie, blue jeans, black sneakers, purple shades, and a cap put on backward. The teen had unkempt blond hair, and very familiar freckles on 'his' face.

Another 'guy' was with him, but he didn't exactly fit the usual teenager bill. Indeed, he was as short as 'Vicky' was. A **relative** , perhaps ? ( _It's funny because you get it._ ) The second teen was thus smaller, with some black hair, hidden under the hood of 'his' white hoodie. With black sunglasses, little blue jeans, some red and white sneakers, and even a golden chain, though it looked a bit weird, almost like it was only gold-painted aluminium. And just like 'Vicky', his two upper front teeth looked like marshmallows.

The two bullies laughed at their insult. And while Lincoln was trying to plan his way through his sisters' new scheme, Ronnie Anne took the bait rather easily. "Who're you calling a ninny ?" said the tomboy, narrowing her eyes.

The tall teen only smirked in response. "I don't know, **ninny** , what do you think ?"

"Ha ! Good one Butch !" approved the short teen.

"You know it Tim !" replied 'Butch', giving Tim a low-five.

Ronnie Anne didn't look pleased, but then smirked. "I don't think you get to mock away, especially when you look like 90's commercial rejects." shot Ronnie Anne back at them.

"It's called having style, loser ! Don't think you'd get that, miss 'I-don't-even-know-what-I-want-to-look-like'." mocked 'Tim', eyeing Ronnie Anne's purple hoodie and blue shorts.

Before the squabble could rise up, Lincoln stepped in, his face contorted in frustration, and his cheeks reddening in anger. "Hey, back off 'man' ! What's your deal anyways ?!"

'Butch' looked at Lincoln straight in the eye, crossing his arms. "I don't have a deal. I simply feel like dissing one pair of ninnies heading up for some ninny dance game. Bet you're too scared to go for some real Man Games, like Super _Zombie Brain Crusher XVIII_ !" he finished by giving 'Tim' another low-five.

"Ha, joke's on you ! I'm a renowned champion at that game, and so is she ! In fact, we have the best co-op score of the entire arcade ! And I don't remember seeing any Butch or Tim on the High Score's name list." gloated Lincoln, giving the grinning Ronnie Anne a fist bump.

The 'teens' were barely fazed by that. "Pfft, you two, best score of the arcade ? A sissy girl and the scrawniest ninny I've ever seen ? Your jokes are just as lame as you two !" said the teen, prompting some more mockery from 'Tim' as well.

By now, Lincoln's ears were crimson with fluctuating blood, and Ronnie Anne looked pretty mad too. "Then why not getting it down right now ? One game each, no continues, the highest score wins ! And the loser gets to be the real 'sissy ninny crybaby' !" challenged Lincoln, getting close and personnal with the tallest of the bully duo.

"Oh, it is so on, flour hair ! Try not to cry too much when we're done with ya losers !"

'Butch' and 'Tim' cackled as they pushed through our heroes, going for the game in question. Ronnie Anne, sensing her competitive spirit go hairwire, gave a wild smile to her game buddy. "C'mon partner. Let's make goo out of those braindead zombies, and minced meat out of those just-as braindead morons."

Lincoln was about to follow Ronnie Anne, when realization struck him.

' _AUGH ! I can't believe I fell for that ! I can't believe that out of all my sisters, it's Lynn and Lana – Fetch Girl and Mud Breather – that got me at the psychology game !_ ' internally raged the young Loud Boy, pulling at his white hair. He was consoled by two facts. One, he was going to pulverize his sisters at one of his favourite video games. Two, they were the last ones on the list. If he was lucky, this could be their last meddling attempt.

* * *

So the challenge was on. 'Butch' and 'Tim' were the first to go, with 'Tim' on a stool to be able to see and shoot at the screen. It was clear that they didn't have much practice at this game, but they certainly had reflexes, and knew how to handle a gun. Lincoln wasn't surprised, as he recalled the multiple times the Loud Family had gone for some "X-TREME PAINTBALL !". Lynn herself had always been high up on the final scores, though she had been thwarted multiple times by either Lisa ( _Tactics)_ , Lucy ( _Stealth_ ), himself ( _Wits_ ), or most surprising, Leni ( _Eternal Mystery_ ).

But soon enough, as they were nearing the end of Level 12, the undead got the best of them, and the Game Over sign appeared.

The two seemed content with their score though. 'Butch' sneered at the orange-shirted boy and the purple-hoodied girl. "Beat that, lovey dovey losers !"

Ignoring the two jarheads' cackling, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne manned up their stations. They exchanged a smile, taking their positions, as they had done so many times before.

The GO sign resonated, and the carnage began. Well, it still had a PG rating, but it was one brutal game either way.

Lincoln hadn't made up their reputation. They were blasting their way in like it was nothing. Their performance was getting so good, a crowd began to form behind them. But they didn't care, their eyes were riveted to the screen.

The duo balanced each other perfectly. Ronnie Anne's reflexes and quick shooting abilities allowed her to blow away any surprises coming their way, while Lincoln's hawk-eye and precision made quick work of any trap or far-away zombies. And when zombie waves crashed on, they had eachother's back in a jiffy, in perfect synchronisation.

They were so good, that they actually attained the legendary Final Boss, one that few in Royal Woods had even seen, and none had ever beaten. But the Mega Human-Tarantula Amalgamate Of Doom was going down today. The battle got intense, the two players were down to their last life. The small crowd was going wild, even the bullies had their jaws hanging, though on the inside, they were cheering for their brother as well.

All part of the plan...

Then it happened. Ronnie Anne had hit the six points fast enough. The Boss' maw was open. And in one smooth motion, Lincoln hit its weak point. Goo flew everywhere on the screen, and the credits rolled. The triumphant duo entered their names, and smiled.

They had made their legend. A Royal Woods-scaled legend, but a legend nontheless.

The crowd let out cheers of joy and many festive selfies, before going back to their own business. The two champions stepped down to eye the knuckleheads, who held neutral expressions.

"So, who's the ninny now ?" said Ronnie Anne, with a 'In your stupid mug !' look on her face.

"Alright, gotta admit, you two have skills." admitted 'Tim', to which 'Butch' nodded. He then smirked. "You two are still a pair of lovey-dovey noodles though."

"What kind of insult is that ?" asked Lincoln, arching an eyebrow.

"The kind that you are. Smell ya later !" laughed 'Butch', prompting the two to depart. But as they passed, 'Butch' bumped into Ronnie Anne a little too forcefully, almost on purpose, causing her to lose her balance. Lincoln reacted immediately, and caught her right before she fell to the ground. He then scowled to the snickering 'teenagers' getting away.

"Hey, sorry isn't just an extra used by snobs, you know !" spat Lincoln, before looking at the girl he just saved. "Ronnie Anne, are you... okay ?"

His lips stopped moving, as his vision met hers. He didn't even feel the weight of his friend in his right arm, making their position look as if they had danced a waltz together.

For a moment, they just stood there, gazing into eachother's eyes, seemingly petrified, as felt the time. Lincoln took a good look at the girl he held, the 'Terror of Royal Woods Middle School'. What he saw before him was anything but terrifying.

Her delicate tanned skin, her adorable freckles, her cute round nose, her resplending eyes, and her waving black hair. All assembled, they formed one pretty girl. But that wasn't all there was.

In her eyes, Lincoln saw their previous hangouts, their little misadventures, their games, their laughs. But he also saw some other moments, like Ronnie Anne's act of friendship during April Fools, kissing her cheek and getting slapped in the face as well as her number, the results of the Sadie Hawkins Dance, and of course... Jean Juan's.

Lincoln's sight fell to her mouth. He saw her small buck teeth, similar to his very own. He also saw her lips, the one he... tasted back then. It was meant as an apology, and they worked it out as a mean to get their older siblings back together, knowing it meant so much to them. Now, he wasn't very sure. For such a sour girl, they had tasted so sweet.

He wondered if maybe... maybe one more time, he could...

"Lincoln ?"

The ' _Man with a plan_ ' was brought back to reality by Ronnie Anne's voice. He then realized for how long he had held her like that, having passed the akward bar twenty seconds ago. Yelping, he brought his dame- I mean, his _buddy_ back on her feet.

"Woops, sorry. Got a bit lost in my thoughts. You know, 'cause we just beat the Final Boss, and I'm still proceeding it, right ?" laughed Lincoln very akwardly, trying his best to hide his furious blushing.

"Yeah, it's... cool." said Ronnie Anne in an unusual small voice. Her eyes were shifting randomly around the room, avoiding to look at Lincoln directly again, twiddling her thumbs. She then tried to get a hold of herself, and focused herself back on Lincoln, regaining her usual pep. "I mean, we showed those dummies who were the pros ! We did great !"

Seeing her normal again, Lincoln attempted the same, to a lesser extent. "Y-Yeah ! And not just great, we did amazing !" whooped Lincoln, exchanging a high-five in celebration. "Um, by the way, can I go to the bathroom for a moment ? I need to freshen up after so much action."

"No worries, I'll wait for ya." chilled Ronnie Anne. Lincoln then departed for the bathroom. When he was out of sight, Ronnie Anne's mouth streched into something nobody had seen on the girl's face, except for her parents and Big Bro.

A shy smile, highlighted by a light pink blush.

* * *

 _In the male bathroom..._

Lincoln splashed water in his face for the third time, trying to get the sweat and blush out of his cheeks. And while the sweat had long gone, his blush was still there. A moment for himself, he turned to the camera for some much needed confession.

"I'm not sure how much more of this I can take." said Lincoln with a mix of fear, sadness and annoyance. The poor boy was on the edge of a breakdown. "This is the most humiliating thing I've ever been put through. And there is a picture of me in a diaper on the Internet, who's been seen by more than 20000 people !"

Lincoln began to tear up, before his rage made the tears evaporate. "It's all their fault ! I bet Lynn pushed Ronnie Anne on purpose, just so we could... gah ! Is this some kind of petty revenge of theirs ?! Are they really going that low ?! If things go on like that, Ronnie Anne's patience is gonna wear thin, and she'll never want to talk to me again ! Is it too much to ask from them, for ONE measly day where it's about me ?!" hollered the fuming boy, crumpling paper towels. His last sentence was a tad exagerated of course, but he hardly cared.

Lincoln then tried to held on what little hope he had. "Alright, gotta stay cool. It's around four o'clock, which means that I'll have to go home soon, which also means that there isn't much more they can go on with. And hey, I've seen almost all the sisters, maybe this was their last attempt. Maybe this won't go any more downhill."

But panic crippled its way in his mind again. "Or, maybe they are preparing one noisy, utterly embarassing, big finale, that will sink me and Ronnie Anne's friendship faster than an anvil coated in concrete ! And the word will get out, and no girl will ever want to approach me, except to kick me in the knee if **I** attempt to talk to them !" rambled Lincoln, starting to hyperventilate, only to remember the breathing exercise his mother had taught him.

Feeling a lot more placated, our hero looked at himself in the mirror. "Get a grip, Lincoln. Do it for yourself, do it for Ronnie Anne. Your sisters are not humiliating you on purpose. They mean well, you know it. You are going to get past this, and by the end of the day, you and Ronnie Anne will still be friends."

He pushed a sigh of relief, feeling his worries getting under control. He looked at the camera again, with a shaky but confident smile. "I mean, how determined can my sisters really be on this ?"

A loud snort awnsered the boy's question, making him yelp in fright, much like with his goth sister's sudden appearances.

Lincoln quickly looked around him, before he located the noise's source. It came from the janitor closet, located in the very room he was in. Not the smartest place to put it, but what could he do about it ?

His curiosity getting the best of him, Lincoln approached the closet, and put his hand on the handle. Suprisingly, it was unlocked. As such, he opened it.

As did his mouth, much more widely, when he saw what was inside.

Mr. Gus, General Manager of this whole place, aka The Big Boss, layered on the floor. Next to him, were a brown-haired zitted male teenager and a black-haired female teenager, both in the diner's uniforms, and both around Lori's age, perhaps a tad older.

The three of them were fast asleep. As well as **being tied up and gags placed over their mouths**.

As he tried to process this new information, he noticed three little objects stuck in the back of their necks. He reached for them, and got a closer look. His eyes widened.

Lisa had a useful but really bustable habit of putting her name on her invention and material. Even on her sleeping darts.

Lincoln recognized them, as they had been used as last resort for Lana's last exceptional bubble bath, as the whole family had been invited for a dinner at the house of their father's boss. Don't judge them too hard, that girl could really claw and bite when backed in a corner. It had kept her asleep for one straight hour, but the dose seemed much more pronounced in the present case.

Lincoln's eye twitched a bit, then he filled himself with iron resolve. "THAT IS IT ! I'm putting a stop to this whole thing, right now !"

The almost-tween closed the closet door, and marched right out of the bathroom. Ronnie Anne would be spared from his sisters' overzealous need to meddle. Time for a much needed chat !

* * *

 _Back in the kitchen..._

"And as she fell into his arms, they kept looking at eachother, like they were in some weird trance thingy. It really felt like they were gonna smooch right on the spot !" counted Lana, getting back into her overalls. "But then Lincoln went to the bathroom, and the moment went * _raspberry noise*._ Bummer."

"Dang it, so close ! This ship was this close to get out of the harbour, but the captain bailed at the last minute !" emphasized Luna, losing her usual cool.

"What do we do now ? There isn't much time left, and all our cards have already been played down !" said Lynn, as she reattached her ponytail.

"Lynn, no time to play Go Fish, we have to help Linky !" chided Leni, clueless as ever.

The sisters, once again, began to bicker among themselves, until a whirl emanated from the back of the kitchen. Most of the sisters stopped what they were doing, and looked at the noise's source. Their eyes widened in perfect unison, even if no one could see Lucy's.

"Uh, what the heck is that ?" asked Lola fearfully.

Lucy hissed away in disgust at the prospect before her, hiding behind Luan. "Back, you glowing pink abomination. Back I say !"

The object of many questions from the Louds turned out to be a rather strange machine. Advancing on its four metallic sharp legs, the mecha consisted of a big round container, displaying its pink substance behind a window. Right on top of it was a medium-sized cannon with wires attached to it, and before the cannon, perched on her machine, was the Loud's resident genius/mad scientist.

"My dear sisters, I dare say the game is not over yet. We still have one _ace_ up our sleeves." said Lisa, her glasses glinting as her machine stopped in front of the sisters.

"Hehehe, good one sis !" laughed Luan, before turning serious. "But seriously though, what the heck is that ?"

"What you admire is one of my secret constructions. An automated pump capable of going anywhere you want, and of great stealth as well. I got it inside four hours ago by the back door, and none of you even suspected a thing." said Lisa, very proud of herself.

"How come I've never heard of this ?" said Lori with a frown, not quite pleased to know her explosion-prone sister made projects behind her or her parents' back.

"Because it's a secret, duh." said Lisa cynically, stepping off her invention. "Anyways, this pump can move of course, but it is also capable of ensuring a successful liquefying processus on any sort of gas, or a gasification on any kind of liquide. And of course, I am quite sure you all know what the cannon is for."

All eyes fell on Leni for a moment, who frowned. "It propulses thingies on stuff. Like confettis, or t-shirts !" chirped the innocent-minded girl, earning herself a pat on the head from Luna.

"Alright, but what's that weird yucky stuff in there ?" asked Lana, squishing her face against the window. "And follow-up question, can I have some ?"

"You want fluorescent pink goo ?" asked her hoity-toity twin.

"Hey, if it's gooey and slimey, I'll take it. Just make sure it doesn't smell any of that barfing lavender smell."

Lisa adjusted her glasses, and continued. "I wouldn't play with it if I was you. What you see in there is a concentré of my lastest experiment. If all my calculations are correct, this liquid will increase the serotonin inside one's brain, thus resulting into a more pronounced attachement to the object of that person's affection." explained the young genius.

"Wait, let me get back to my _chemistry_ classes for a moment." halted Lori, rubbing her forehead.

"Oooh, another good one from Lori !" pointed Luan, prompting groans to rise once again.

Lori's eyes then widened in realization. "So, what you're saying is... you invented a love potion ?"

"Rough translation, but correct."

"And you tested it, right ?" said Lori, her eyes narrowing.

"Well, if by testing it, you mean actually using on a subject, thus confirming wholefully the results and contradicting any kind of dangerous, possibly life-scarring side-effects... no. No I didn't." admitted the genius with a trace of shame.

"That's crazy talk ! Do you know what Bobby will do to me if Ronnie Anne is hurt in the slightest ?!" cringed Lori to Lisa. The other sisters coughed forcefully, and Lori blushed. "Oh, and it'll be bad for her and Lincoln too, of course."

"Do not worry, I have prepared for all eventualities. Besides, what's the worst that can happen ?" shrugged Lisa.

"Uh, Lis', I've seen a movie about grenades, living in a town of dynamite, on a bomb planet, and none of them come close to do what you can do in your lab." said Lynn with a raised eyebrow. "And that's only what exploded, there also are the times when your experiments crawled or flew out of your room, or when you took you tests on us."

"I still remember the flavor of that 'Supreme Candy' you gave me last halloween." mumbled Lucy. "It tasted like darkness, but somehow worse."

"Hyperboles will get you nowhere, I'm afraid. I cannot allow our entire operation to fail. Once I activate my machine, it will propulse a cloud over our targets. A whif of my concoction, and they'll finally get the courage to share their true feelings to eachother." said Lisa, clutching on the remote of the machine.

"But what about Lincoln ?" pressed Lana, to which Lisa only shrugged.

"Please, I'm sure Lincoln will be okay with this."

Suddenly, the kitchen doors were kicked open, startling the Loud sisters in it. And coming through those doors was none other than their brother himself. "GUYS, I AM NOT OKAY WITH ANY OF THIS !" he hollered in anger.

The sisters cringed all at once, but then put on very nervous smiles, streched to the point of comical manner.

"Heeeey, Lincoln, my man. Heh, what are you doing here ?" said Lola very shakily, her eyes darting all over the place.

Lincoln's look got even more furious. "What am **I** doing here ?! **I** 'm trying to have a fun time with my friend Ronnie Anne, and not letting my crazy sisters ruining it with their crazier ideas ! Now the real question is, what the heck are **you** doing here ?!"

"Uh... helping Lori with her shift, while getting to know the marvelous world of the Gus' Games and Grub's kitchens ?" attempted Luna rather poorly.

Lincoln's look darkened. "Wrong awnser, try again." he hissed through his teeth.

"Trying to make the scarlet rose of love bloom between you and Ronnie Anne." uttered Lucy, her voice laced with great shame.

"I just can't believe this is happening ! I can't believe you are butting in **again** ! I tried discussing it with you, I tried guilt-tripping you, I even threatened you not to do it, yet here you are ! What do I have to do for you to understand ?! **This. Isn't. About. You !** This is my life ! My personnal, solely mine, life ! I... I... urgh !" fumed Lincoln, trying not to jump at the girls' throat. As a matter of speech, of course. "You even knocked out Mr. Gus and his employees ! Lori, do you even realize that you could lose your job over this ?!"

Lori looked surprised, then casted a glare at Lynn. "You were supposed to lock the door afterwards !" berated the eldest sister.

Lynn gave a sheepish smile to her glaring sisters. "Heh heh... oops ?"

Lincoln's rant wasn't nearly finished yet. "You knocked out and binded people ! That's not just crazy, that's an actual criminal offense ! And all those displays you pulled out today, you can't even begin to comprehend how humiliated I felt back there ! For some reason, Ronnie Anne hasn't catched up on it yet. But when she does, she'll beat the stuffing out of me, before running away and never coming back !"

"Don't you think you're getting a bit dramatic, Lincoln ?" retorted Lori, before Lincoln's scowl reminded her that maybe this wasn't the best time for deadpan remarks.

"I'm dramatic ?! Did yesterday's little tales about your meddling already slipped your mind ?! If I didn't know you personnally, I'd believe you are all ready for the straight jackets ! Which you probably are ! I mean, can you get any crazier than-"

Lincoln paused. His eyes were slowly diverting from his sisters to something a little bit weirder. The girls (minus Lily) gulped in apprehension as he looked at the machine. For fifteen good seconds, he looked at it from leg to cannon. Then, his wide eyes narrowed, and turned back to his sweat-doused sisters.

"What's that ?" asked Lincoln slowly, pointing at the 'metallic' object.

"Uh..." was the general awnser given to him.

Immediately, Lincoln's sight fell on his principal suspect. "Lisa, what is that thing ?" demanded Lincoln, his gaze getting even harder.

"Um, i-it's a simple dishwasher of my invention. It goes thrice as fast, for half the energy of a normal one. I'm quite proud of it, hehe." said Lisa with a wavering chesire smile.

Knowing she was lying, Lincoln turned to someone who he knew would give her the real version. "Leni, what's that machine for ?"

"It's a cannon thingy loaded with untested love potion for you and Ronnie Anne !" blabbered Leni, the stress being too much to handle for her fragile mind. Lincoln's eyes doubled in size by the shocking revelation.

"Cannon ?! **Love Potion ?! UNTESTED ?!** " screamed Lincoln in disbelief. "You were actually gonna spray me and Ronnie Anne with some potentially dangerous liquid, hoping that it would make us fall in love with eachother ?! THAT'S WRONG ON EVERY LEVEL POSSIBLE !"

"Well, gas would be more appropriate." corrected Lisa.

If Lincoln was seeing red before, he was seeing **purple** now. Immediately, he reached for the remote in Lisa's hand. "Give me that !" But Lisa refused.

"Absolutely not ! You've been dodging the facts for too long, Lincoln Loud ! So now, let the power of science work its way, and make this inevitable romance finally possible !" argued Lisa, pulling with all the strength her little arms could muster.

"Guys, cut it out !" ordered Lori, reaching for the remote as well, trying to get it out of both her siblings' hand.

Unfortunately, her well-meaning action made the natural competitive spirit of the Loud siblings flare and overcome them, beginning an eleven-way Tug-o-war ! Even Lily joined in, just for the sake of it. Each side held strongly though, Lincoln being the one to try his hardest.

"C'mon Lincoln ! Just let it go !" said Lola, even though she had no intention of activating the machine.

"No ! If I let you do this, you'll ruin things up ! **You always ruin everything for me !** " cried Lincoln, fed up of his sisters' antics.

 _ **SNAP !**_

But if there is one additional lesson the Loud kids should have remembered from the 'Sharon DeMonet Incident', it's that pulling something in many directions at once tend to fragilize it greatly.

Each of the siblings stared at the piece of remote they had in their hands. But instead of the machine simply shutting down, it began to increasingly tremble.

"Uh-oh." uttered Lisa fearfully. "The machine is activating self-protection protocol. To ensure the safety of its circuits, it's gonna release all its contents directly where it's pointing at."

Lincoln immediately looked at the cannon. It was pointing directly through the counter that separates the kitchen and the rest of the diner.

But it was when he saw who the cannon was truly pointing at that his brain kicked itself into high gear.

Not wasting a second, he rushed out of the doors, as the cannon began to bulge with the load of liquid coming up its way. He then called, " **Ronnie Anne, watch out !** "

The mentionned girl was confused by the call, but her eyes widened when she saw the shaking cannon pointing at her. She was so surprised, her feet refused to move out of the way.

And the cannon fired. The time seemed to slow as the huge stream of pink goo of unknown consequences flew to the petrified girl. In reflex, she closed her eyes, expecting the strange residue to collide with her any second.

 _ **SPLORCH !**_

But although the sound was there, Ronnie Anne felt nothing even remotely touching her. She slowly opened her eyes, and observed the scene. The residue was plastered on the whole wall behind her, except for a human-sized trail. Looking at herself, she saw that not a single drop had attained her, not even her clothes. And as she looked ahead of her, she knew why.

Someone had interposed himself in front of her, blasting his whole front body with the goo. But through the dripping liquid, Ronnie Anne could recognized a certain orange shirt, and some unmistakable white hair.

"Lincoln ! Oh my gosh, are you okay ?" said Ronnie Anne, her voice filled with concern over the boy. His mouth and eyes appeared from the pink slime, signaling that he was awake. But a weird feature was that he was smiling, rather forcefully.

"Hey Ronnie Anne, glad you're alright." said Lincoln a bit woozily.

"Lincoln, why are you smiling like that ?"

"I don't know, I just can't stop smiling, no matter how hard I try !"

From the counter, on long stool, Lisa sorted her notepad to write down the recent results. "Apparently, the effects aren't nearly what I expected. Back to the dashing board, I guess." said Lisa nonchalantly.

"My cheeks are hurting !" complained Lincoln, trying to force the edge of his lips down, to no avail.

Seeing her sisters looking at her, the bespectacled child reassured them. "Do not worry, I thought of this eventuality. All we need is some H2O, and any physical effects will be removed in a jiffy."

"Or we can try with some water !" said Leni, not seeing her little sister rolling her eyes. "I'll get a bucket filled at the big sink !"

"Sure, do that Leni." said Lori absentmindedly, rubbing her eyes in tiredness. Their entire cover was blown, but at least no one was hurt. But then, she mulled over the words of her ditzy sister. "Wait... the big sink ?" She gasped, and immediately turned around. "No, don't touch it ! It's got huge canalisation problems !"

But she was too late, Leni hadn't heard her. Nor had she seen the big red 'OUT OF SERVICE' sign dangling on the sink's faucet. As she turned it on very quickly, it began to shake dangerously. A gargling noise reverbated across the whole set of canalisations, making them shake as well. The sisters didn't like this turn of events and huddled together, with Lori securing Lily in her arms.

"Wow, this is about to really _sink_ , isn't it ?" attempted Luan, barely laughing at her own joke.

"Boy, you have no idea." said Lana, her knowledge of plumbing already telling her what was about to happen.

Back to Ronnie Anne and Lincoln, their eyes widened in surprise when they heard metal blowing up, female shrieks, and a loud rush of water. All of that was accompanied by a light quaking of the place, followed by water waves bursting through the kitchen's opening and doors.

Out of instinct, Lincoln placed himself in front of Ronnie Anne again. But the stream was much more powerful than the 'love blast'. Everything went blurry.

* * *

Out of Gus' Games and Grub, the passing pedestrians were surprised when they heard alarming shrieks coming from it.

And even more surprise when water came rushing out the door and windows, even taking ejecting patrons from the arcade-restaurant. In the moment of panic, everyone inside and outside just fled out of the zone of danger, not even thinking one moment to call the police. _Rather odd move, but it helps the plot._

* * *

When Lincoln focused back to reality, he was on the ground, completely drenched with water. He even coughed some out of his mouth. He tried to get back up on his feet, but he slipped on his first try.

Groaning, he tried again, this time shakily succeeding. He looked around to find a rather chaotic sight. Everything that wasn't nailed down was littered all over the place. Glasses, plants, bottles, cutlery, all floating in the humongous puddle that was the ground at the moment.

At least no more water was coming anymore, as the level was dwindling rapidly. Lincoln could only guess that Lana had worked her repairgirl magic, and fixed the whole thing.

The arcade machines had been spared too. Looks like Mr. Gus wasn't that crazy to install a waterproof protection on every one off them.

As Lincoln looked around for Ronnie Anne, his attention disgressed to his sisters coming out of the kitchen, drenched as well. Many of them had their eye liners and mascaras dripping away, though not Lucy's. As she would put it, " _the signs of her wallowing despair simply couldn't be scrubbed away, no matter how hard one tried._ "

"Great, my outfit of the day, completely ruined." complained Lola, as she shielded herself from her twin's _dog_ _attempt_ to dry herself. "And you're not helping !"

"Pff, what's one of you froufrou dresses being a little wet ? It's not like you don't have 10 of those back home." retorted Lana. Before any bad blood could be drawn out of the two, Luna and Luan separated them.

"What a _dousing doozy_ that was ! It sure doesn't leave you _thirsty_ for more." cracked Luan, only receiving a wet pillow in the face as awnser.

Lori had finished emptying Lily's diaper from all the water, even squeezing it away. "Alright, are we all here ?"

"YES !" responded uninamously the sisters, who really were all there.

"Good. Now where is Lincoln ?"

"I'm right here." awnsered Lincoln through his teeth, glaring angrily at all of them as he got his white hair out of his view. The girls winced at the look they were getting, as Lincoln advance, ready to give them a good piece of his mind. "Why, you bunch of-"

"Lincoln."

Lincoln stiffened at the sharpness of the voice, and immediately turned around. There stood Ronnie Anne, soaked as well, with drops quickly dripping from her ponytail. The look on her face was anything but complaisant. It was stern, resembling the one she had given him when they had met at Jean Juan's.

Poor Lincoln felt his throat tighten at her look, but tried to justify himself nontheless. "Ronnie Anne, I-I-I can explain. You see-"

But once again, he was cut, as Ronnie Anne simply lifted her hand, gesturing him to save it. She then went for the door, opened it, and turned to the boy. "Meet me outside, in private. We need to talk."

The door slammed close, and the hope in Lincoln's eyes shattered. His strength left him, as he sunk on his knees, right on the wet floor, looking down as tears began to roll down his face. All he could utter were those weak words :

" _But... it's not fair._ "

The diner went silent, as Lincoln began to quietly sob. Behind him, his sisters stayed quiet, understanding what it meant to truly feel awful. They could only watch at their weeping brother, taking in the final result of their operation.

 **Utter. Complete. Failure.**

This wasn't ruining a science project, or getting to in the way of some TV show for him to watch ; they had destroyed the very relationship between their brother and someone very close to him, someone special. They had never attained such a level of 'screwing up' in their entire life.

Halloween 2014 didn't even seem that bad in comparaison.

The girls looked at eachother, trying to find some kind of comfort in the other's eyes, but nothing came. This was the bottom line, the true consequence of their actions.

But... almost mechanically, the Loud Sisters uttered a sentence. One simple sentence, consisting of two simple words.

"Sorry Lincoln."

And worst words could not have been uttered.

 _ **SNAP !**_

This was the sound that resonated across Lincoln's brain. His pupils retracted, becoming smaller than pinpricks, as his eyes widened to their limits. The rest of his body didn't move an inch, strangely relaxed.

But inside his mind, he felt anything but relaxed. Something huge was stirring.

Until then, he had felt his blood boil on multiple occasions, he had felt the heat. Now ? His blood was turning into **molten lava** , the echoing words of his sisters fueling its scorching heat more and more.

And it was this exact burning heat that weakened a cerebral barrier containing a most horrible creature, one that had been forming inside Lincoln's brain for years.

Immediately, through the _snapping_ motion, a dark flow of bad memories merged with the sizzling blood, took over all of his thoughts. All Lincoln could remember right now orbited around one unique subject.

 **His sisters' wrongdoings against him. _Every single one of them._**

His meticulous 8-month plan for the Sweet Spot ruined in a matter of seconds, leaving him punished and beaten up.

His last vacation at Scratchy Bottom Camp. Forced to be a butler at his sisters' every call, just because he couldn't decide which other place to go.

Covering for his 10 sisters, who didn't give a second thought to bail on him, because **they** had more important things to do. And how did that leave end ? Him in a diaper for the world to see !

Missing the Comic Convention, punished for something he didn't do just because Lucy couldn't take some mockeries. Now everytime anything pony-related was shown, all openly laughed at him in ridicule.

When he found comfort with Clyde's parents. He felt like a good brother to let one or two of his sisters in the secret, but it immediately crashed down when they ALL came forth to once again take attention from him. Because it only had to be about **THEM**.

His 'Green House' assignement. Pedaling all week-end had been hard, but the harshest thing that Lincoln remembered was the moment he asked them the favour. Not one second did they care about the fact that it would make him a complete outcast, but when it was all about the polar bear, they were all on board. One polar bear apparently held more importance **than their own brother**.

Luan's painful and **cruel** Prankapocalypse. She even stooped so low as to trying to show Ronnie Anne that humiliating video of him practicing his kissing on a balloon.

The school's business week. His sisters had eaten all the chocolate of the house, ruining his first idea, which led to the horrendous 'Girl Guru' incident. And he didn't get one apology out of it, only mockeries.

The Sadie Hawkins Dance. He may have lied to them about Ronnie Anne, but even if it hadn't been a lie, they had picked **four dates** for him without even consulting eachother, which could have left him with a serious embarrassing and painful situation, had it not been for the help of his friends.

The time at the Super Mart, when he got blamed for trying to keep order among her sisters. Even when he felt he had won his crunchy and sugary prize, they took extra care to stomp his hopes down on the ground.

Lisa's insane snow days, when she faked her overzealous attachement for snowball battles just so her siblings could go back to school, for their _better education_. He had spent hours trying to rub the frostbites away.

Hugh, his college tutor. Just... **all of it**.

 **And those were just the tip of his colossal Iceberg of negative memories.**

He remembered Lori's threats and unfair roughness against him every time he had stepped into his room, even when it was an accident. Or being pushed around by her just because she was the oldest, or 'not in the mood for his twerpy lameness'.

He remembered every time Leni took him away just to try on some clothes of her creation, half of the time with needles pointing his butt. She even had sent him with one of her lastest achievements to a birthday party, with his whole elementary class there. 'Little Lincoln in a Dress' had become the talk of the school for weeks, leaving the 8-year old boy in tears.

He remembered Luna's sonic blasts of music, crashing him into walls on multiple occasions, or when her music was so loud, it broke his concentration, costing him good marks for mediocre ones. There was even that one time when she had blasted him **through a window** , leaving him in a cast for three weeks, making him miss the school trip to the ' _Aqua Universe_ ' aquatic park he had been preparing himself to go for three months.

He remembered Luan's repeated pranks, and not just the ones she unleashed during her Prankapocalypses. Every bucket of water, every cream pie, every jolt of electricity, every face paint while he was asleep, and many other kinds of pranks. All of this accompanied by her mocking laughter, furthering his humiliation and misery.

He remembered Lynn's roughousing in general, always taking him to be her sparring parter, though Lincoln felt he was more of her personnal punching/kicking bag. If someone was to get picked to try out her new combat moves, or any of her dangerous 'original' sports, it would be him, often leaving him with injuries, and with barely a thanks in return.

He remembered Lucy's snooping around, either scaring the wits out of him, saddening his day with her dark poetry, or following him around, finding embarassing things about him and revealing those to all. She was often forced by the others, but there were a few instances when she had talked through her own free will.

He remembered getting into the crossfire of Lola and Lana's eternal bickering, even over the **dumbest** of things. Lana kept her score high with the time she ruined his favourite sweater and autographed basketball sneakers, and how her animals often tangled with him, whether it was a frog down his pants, or a snake in his bed. One of her tarantulas even **bit him** , meaning he had to go to school with the most bloated face anyone had ever seen, only adding to his long list of public sister-related humiliations.

Lola of course had it worse, whining his ears off when someone didn't go her way, or terrorizing him when he'd make the slightiest of comments. He couldn't even count all the times she had clawed at him in rage, or blackmailed him to obey her every whim. He had even lost one of his First Edition, Ultra-Rare Ace Savvy comics to one of her tantrums.

He remembered Lisa's insane experiments, either resulting in hearing loss from one of her explosions, or many side-effects when she decided to make him her next guinea pig. One of her experiments had caused him to lose all his hair, once again, in front of his entire class, especially before Christina, his ex-crush.

He remembered Lily. While she hadn't done much, there were all the soggy diapers she had left for him, and every time she had decided to try on some food art on his face and clean clothes.

 **And the memories kept coming.**

He remembered every time he had to battle for the slightest. He remembered every punch, kick, slap, bite, wet willy, wedgie, and many more pain thrown at him.

He remembered every time the little privacy he had was invaded, not allowed to have a moment for himself, or even one little **quarter** under his bed.

He remembered every time **HE** had to make concessions, so **THEY** could feel any better. Because Lincoln Loud couldn't have them being sad. **Lincoln Loud couldn't have ANYTHING nice !**

He remembered every time her sisters had simply made things worst, claiming they _wanted to help_. **Laughable !** These **monsters** didn't help, they **destroyed** everything nice he came across !

Volatile emotions were passing through Lincoln's mind and entire body at the moment. Sadness. Pain. **Anger. Wrath.** _ **H**_ **-...**

Every brotherly affection and fond memory of them actually apologizing to him and making things up to him got smothered and crushed away by the flow of frustration that had bottled up inside the young boy for years. If anything, it only made him see that it didn't matter how many times they humiliated him and apologized, **they would simply do it again by tomorrow !**

The negative thoughts swirled inside his mind, becoming a storm of pure rage and resentment. He could not think straight anymore, only hearing laughter. Laughter everywhere, either from **THEM** or from people about what **THEY** had done to him. In the end, this single event had liberated the very thing Lincoln had kept shut, but ultimately constructed inside his very mind.

 **A Warring Beast made from his Infuriation was roaming free. _And it howled for revenge._**

"You're sorry ?"

In an instant, the temperature inside the diner felt like dropping of 20°C. Those two words were calm, very placated, and yet it made every one of the Loud Sisters jolt up in cold sweat. This tone... it didn't feel natural to the girls. It somehow held something icier than Lucy's silent fury, and yet had a core fierier than Lori's full blown wrath, or Lola's exploding tantrums.

But hearing it from their brother's mouth, who always had that kind of rational and optimistic tone, felt so _wrong_. Gone was every bit of warm protectiveness and comprehension he tried to maintain as a brother. This voice was devoid of any kind of compassion, sounding more hollow than Lucy's.

The girls found themselves voiceless. None of them held enough bravado to adress the boy, who didn't even look at them.

Hearing no awnser, Lincoln continued, his voice still devoid of any emotion, as he tilted his head slightly on the side. "You're saying that... you're sorry ?"

The girls felt their knees getting weak, and all their whole bodies beginning to shudder incontrolably. They couldn't stop the terror overcoming them, they were simply terrified of the white and orange boy in front of them, who still didn't look them in the eye.

Lily, Lana, Lola, and Leni even began to tear up because of how much fear was passing through their veins. All of them could hear the storm brewing up inside their collected brother. It was only a matter of time before...

Lori, mustering every bit of courage left in her, tried to handle the situation, knowing that they would be stuck forever like that if she didn't do anything. But still, her voice shook like a leaf with the Parkinson Syndrome. "Y-Y-Yes, Lincoln. We... we screwed up, we know. You can't imagine how sorry we-"

" ** _YOU'RE SORRY ?!_** " exploded Lincoln, making the general atmosphere go from subzero to blazing hot. Now on his feet, he faced the objects of his wrath with the most piercing of glares. His eyes held fury he had never experienced before. His teeth had all sharpened, blocking his mouth into a permanent snarl, punctuated with ragged, animalistic breathing. His hands were bended into claws, twitching as though to grip something, and squeeze it with all his might.

The 10 Loud Sisters backed away in horror as he slowly marched to them. Their Lincoln wasn't there anymore, only stood a demon. **A very, very angry demon.**

" **THAT, IS THE BEST YOU CAN COME WITH ?!** " hollered the white-haired ball of rage. " **You... You have ruined me ! AGAIN ! AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN ! I CAN'T HAVE THE TINIEST OF THINGS, THE SLIGHTEST OF POSSESSIONS, WITHOUT YOU GIRLS BARGING IN SO IT FITS _YOUR_ VIEWS ! I'M ABOUT TO LOSE THE ONE GIRL THAT ACTUALLY LIKED ME BACK, AND IT'S ALL YOUR DANG FAULT ! YOU... ANIMALS NEVER GIVE, ALL YOU DO IS TAKE AND TAKE FROM ME ! AND I'M SICK OF IT !** "

This last sentence piqued the interest of Lynn, who tried to get Lincoln back under control. "H-Hey, that's not true ! We've given plenty of-"

" ** _SHUT UP !_** " roared Lincoln, his demonic voice blasting his tough sister back into terror. " **YOU DON'T TALK ! ONLY I GET TO TALK, ME ! ME, ME, ME, ME, _ME _!** "

Lincoln took a moment to breathe, all the while giving the trembling girls the wicked grin of a true madman, making them cower even more. But he wasn't going to stop now !

" **And boy, do I have things to say ! You're ' _sorry_ '?! No. I'm going to tell you what you are ! WHAT YOU REALLY ARE ! _WHAT YOU ALL ARE_! ARE YOU READY ?! _CAUSE I SURE AM_ !** "

At this point, the sisters couldn't hide their terror. All of them were crying, weeping, blubbering incoherent apologies to their brother, whether it was cool Luna, impassive Lisa and Lucy, or strong-willed Lynn. They were a mess, a crumpled, trembling mess.

' **GOOD.** ' thought the dark-minded Lincoln. That's what he wanted them to do. Demanding mercy, feeling the regret, **crumbling**. It was time to pay a long-awaited bill, and Lincoln would collect every payback interest he could get. He would break them, **destroy them with the harsh truth** , leaving only **hollow sobbing shells** of their former selves.

 **He wanted this, he wanted to see them cry, he wanted to...** to...

Lincoln didn't care for them anymore ! He didn't care that he had never seen his older sisters so terrified in his life ! He did not care that his younger sisters, who had looked up to him with smiles, now cowered before him in terror. And he... certainly did not care at all that his... little baby sister was crying her eyes out... she whose smile would always make his day... would now certainly do nothing but tremble each time she would see him...

No ! **NO ! He would not back down. His vengeance was finally before him, one that had awaited for him all these years ! They deserved that, they deserved every word he was about to say to them !**

 **Lincoln's mouth opened, ready to release the roar of his heart's dark side.**

" **You !** "

 _A 5 year-old Lincoln hiccuped as he mourned the loss of his best bed friend. Who would protect him from the nightmares now ?_

 _But then, miracle ! Bun-Bun was there, all stitched up like nothing had happened to him._

 _As Lincoln hugged his long-eared friend, his big sisters smiled at their work, happy to see their favorite boy all cheered up again. Lincoln even went up to them to give them one big hug, which they accepted warmly._

" **YOU !** "

 _Lincoln, daring white steed of Royal Woods, sure got a lot of riders in his time. Whether it was a slow walk around the living room's rug for the future mistress of darkness, some fancy prancing in the halls for a little princess, a wild rodeo for one girl who didn't mind getting dirty, or a little visit to the garden with the youngest of the family, Lincoln was always present. Even Lisa had a turn. She claimed it strictly was for scientific purposes, but her excited laughter sure said otherwise._

 _It could do quite the number on his back, but their thanking hugs always made it worth it..._

" ** _YOU !_** "

 _Flashbacks began to pop up more and more. Every good moment was coming back, trying to appease Lincoln before he accomplished the unforgivable, something he would regret his entire life._

 _He remembered the wise advices of her sister Lori, how she was the original 'Woman with a plan' of the Louds. Their conversations, her suprising skills in video games, and most important, the speacial bond and trust they had developped through helping eachother with Bobby and Ronnie Anne. Bossy she could be, but heartless ? Certainly not his big sister._

 _He remembered the kindness of Leni, who despite losing focus so often, still did her best to bring cheers and comfort around her. She had a craftmanship of wonders, like the amazing blue tuxedo she had made him in 5th grade. Her brain might have often missed the point, but her heart was always in the right place._

 _He remembered the electric yet smooth attitude of Luna. Even when she was plain ol'Luna, she was the most comprehensive of her sisters, especially with her brother. When she became_ Luna Loud _, she always brought excitement to any dull day, and their bond became whole through his first SMOOCH concert, one of the most memorable moments of his life._

 _He remembered the ever-optimistic jokester that was Luan. Even through the most difficult of moments, she managed to get people to feel better through her incessant jokes, if only a little. She pursued her dreams, and even allowed her little brother to be part of it, as her trustworthy assistant. As long as she kept hopeful, he could go on too._

 _He remembered the active and courageous Lynn. He might have gotten bruises along the way, but he knew no better way to keep active and in shape than some training with his youngest big sis. And when a rift had formed between her and her roommate, she had chosen him above the others to sleep with. He had to admit, he did get some fun out of it. And of course, was there to be anyone outside of his family threatening him, she would be the first to confront the situation, eyes blazing of bravery._

 _He remembered the profound, yet lovable spirit of Lucy. Though gloomy and pessimistic, Lincoln knew she loved her family all the same. She had a way with words that he had never seen in anyone he knew, in or out of his family. He personally knew how shy and fragile she could be, given the Princess Pony incident. She also designed him as one of her two confidants : Lynn took all of the bedroom talk and social relations (in which she excelled), and Lincoln was her poetic helper and emotional balance. Also pats on the head. The little vampire-to-be loved these._

 _He remembered Lana and her daring habits. The little handygirl had made miracles around the house since she was only 3. She reveled into muck, especially when it was one of a job well done. Her passion for animals also made her very affectionate at times, especially when came the time for some games with her big bro. Once, she had questioned her own identity, seeing her attitude as something plain wrong to be. But all it took was some much needed apology from her bonehead brother for the six year-old to realize just how great of a person, and of a sister, she really was._

 _He remembered the aptitudes and stage presence of Lola. She may had certain problems to keep her emotions in check, but Lincoln knew that under all that make-up and haughtiness, beated a soft heart, shinier than all of her tiaras. Lola had a real talent to bedazzle the crowds, even in her talent section. Her Princess Lagoona impression from Starship Groupers was something to behold. Lola did have the nasty habit to be a tattletale on her siblings, but her last tentative, revealed to be the only way she knew to get some good times with her siblings, had begun her path towards redemption, and to become a better person._

 _He remembered Lisa, the Loud House resident genius. Since the moment she had changed her own diaper at the age of eight months, Lisa had never ceased to amaze Lincoln. She gratuated each of her schools one after the other, gaining her college diploma AND PhD at barely four years old, making her the youngest person to ever get those awards. She even was on her way to perfect Cold Fusion ! There was never a day without Lisa teaching him a new word he knew nothing about, and each time the little genius actually complimented him on his knowledge or competences, it meant the world for him. And as much intellectually advanced she was, she still stayed a proud member of the Loud Family._

 _He remembered Lily. Precious little Lily. It was with her that Lincoln felt the most of a big brother. She always was up for some fun time with her 'Linky', and not just because she was a baby. Heck, Lily had proved that she was very capable of understanding her surroundings or what people said to her. But all those sessions of Patty Cake, Lap Rodeo, and Grass Rollers, never once bothered him the least. And whatever 'special thing' she would do when she'd get older, the youngest Loud would always have her big brother to back her up._

 _He remembered every hug, every laugh, every support he had given to them, and how they had returned the gestures right on par. He remembered their family watching of Dream Boat, every time they had gone out to cheer for someone, whether it was Lynn's Soccer Finals or Lola's Figure Skating competitions._

 _He remembered when they had missed their classes just to help him for his family report. He remembered the Talent Festival and the fun they got from it despite not knowing to play. He remembered when they had strongly stood up for him when they thought his parents were going to get rid of him. He remembered the chaotic picture he had taken, making him realize that HE had tried to change them to fit HIS views, but ultimately offering the right one to his parents._

 _ **Because that was the Loud House. A numerous, chaotic, but ultimately loving and close family.**_

 _The flows of memories crashed together in a true twister of emotions. Both trying to get an edge, and prompting Lincoln to make one ultimate choice :_ **Vengeance** _or Forgiveness ?_

Meanwhile, the sisters kept hugging eachother for support, still quaking and scared to their very wits. They never wanted this, they never wanted to make their brother like this. They had crossed an unforgiving line, they knew repercussions were near, and they would be long and harsh. They were bracing themselves from the words of fury to come, his hate-filled venom that would leave permanent marks on their minds and beings. The poor girls were even bashing themselves internally, thinking they deserved their brother's wrath for all that they had done to him along the years, and especially today.

But instead of a flurry of names and insults, all the girls heard was a simple 'plop' of a wet floor, followed by another. Confused, they all opened their eyes, and saw the cause. Their brother was now on all fours, looking at the ground with a defeated expression.

"Lincoln ?" came the raspy and hiccuping voice of Luna.

"I can't do it..." murmured Lincoln.

This only made the Loud Sisters feel more confused. "Wh... What ?" said Luan, still no smile on her face.

Lincoln slowly looked up to his sisters. Instead of the wrathful look he had given them a moment ago, now only were regrets. "I can't do it. I-I just can't say those things to you, no matter how upset I am. Those... horrors I was gonna tell you, I-I-I don't even believe a quarter of them !" said the boy, his eyes already watering. "I don't want to do it. What I really want to say right now is that even though you smother me at times, I'm glad to have you as my sisters. I'm glad to know that I'm never alone. You guys are amazing, and nobody, not even me, knows a thing if they say the contrary !"

Tears were rolling down Lincoln's face, but certainly not as much as his sisters, who looked immensely touched by their brother's declaration. As such, Lincoln decided to bury the hatchet once and for all, as he simply stood up, smiled tearfully, and opened his arms.

"Sorry, but I just can't hate you. So... how about I keep loving you instead ?"

And that did it. The sisters exploded in sobs, as they rushed onwards to smother their brother into the mother of all family hugs. They all kept crying and apologizing, but Lincoln didn't care about his or their tears drowning his shirt. Instead, he made sure to nuzzle all of his sisters, to make them understand that he forgave them. At that moment, Lincoln saw how much they loved him, and he wanted to let them know how much he loved them in return.

For five whole minutes, the Loud siblings just stood there, not wanting to release one another. Anything could happen around them, and they wouldn't budge an inch.

Then after a while, they finally broke up, trying to get a hold of themselves, and wiping the tears and snot away. During that time, Lincoln never lost his smile, trying to uphold his forgiving will.

Her face finally clean and her hiccups under control, Lori spoke up. "God, look at us. What would Bobby say if he saw me crying like that ?" she laughed.

"That you'd be 'so sensible', and that 'your face would reflect the Sun, the second brightest star he layed his eyes upon'." assumed Lincoln, making his siblings, including Lori, chuckle mirthfully.

"Dear sibling of mine, out of all of us, I must be the one to ask the most for forgiveness." said Lisa, her usual tone laced with self-reproach. "I assumed wrongly that our little crusade would simply be another experiment for me to accomplish. I didn't take into account the human emotions that ties us as consanguinital parents. And for that, I... I..."

Lisa didn't finish her sentence, as her 'inane human emotions' kicked in, and went all waterfall on Lincoln, who simply patted her back softly. Fifteen seconds later, Lisa stopped, and regained her composure. "It's okay, it was only a moment of weakness. But bottom line, I truly am sorry, dear sib- Lincoln."

"We're sorry too. We knew we had put you up through so many rough and embarassing things, but I guess it's only now that we get how much it got under your skin." confessed Lynn sadly. Lincoln gave her a fist bump, that made her frown disappear.

"Our invetable Oblivion would feel nowhere near as crushing than losing you, dear brother." said Lucy, her monotone voice wavering. Lincoln replied with a pat on her head, which she shamelessly accepted.

"Yeah, I guess we were too _date_ rmined to succeed." said Luan, beaming when she saw Lincoln chuckle.

"I really am a horrible pink-clad monster !" wailed Lola in distress.

"I'm horrible too ! And I smell, I stink !" added Lana, equally shaken. Lincoln simply descended to give them a tight hug, and two small kisses on their foreheads. They immediately felt much better.

"Mick might be my favorite man on stage, but there is no man I love more than you, Linc my man." said Luna warmly. Lincoln gave their brother-sister Rock Pose, to which Luna gladly posed back.

"I, like, didn't want to hurt you Linky. I give you all my apo... apola... apoolo... oh, just give me a huggie !" said Leni, embracing her brother with all she had.

"Lincoln, I still stand back to what I said at the fair. You are litteraly the best brother ever." said Lori fondly, giving Lincoln another hug. Lincoln hugged back, then turned to little Lily, who was blubbering apologetically. He gave her a kiss on the nose, and a big belly raspberry, making the toddler laugh hysterically.

"Guys, for the last time, I forgive you. I could never stay eternally mad at you, it'd just make anything all gloomy and depressing." said Lincoln.

"That job is already taken, thank you very much." said Lucy, prompting another laugh to rise amongst the kids and teens. But then, some of them got depressed again.

"Well, I guess we're never getting our stuff back. Not that we don't deserve it..." said Lynn.

"Yeah, but hey, what's just one full front-row Mick Swagger concert, backstages included, compared to making things right again ?" said Luna, her smile straining at the thought.

"Yeah, I'm sure I can just ask for another 'Frigid' pocket mirror for my birthday... in 6 months or so." quipped Lola, trying to hide her dejection.

"I'm sure Bobby will understand. I... hope he'll understand." said Lori, her eyes downcast.

The others mumbled sadly, and Lincoln sighed. Immediately, he turned around to fetch his backpack. Somehow, it was only wet on the outside, positionned on one of the tables. As his sisters watched him do so, they couldn't help but notice the backpack was pretty bloated, and oddly rectangle-shaped.

Opening it, the backpack seemed to live up to its **Spinning English Telephone Booth** image inprinted on it, as the box inside it somehow fit while being TWICE the size of the backpack itself.

Lincoln then opened the brown box, and the girls gasped in shock. It was all their missing stuff ! In a rush of instinct, they grabbed their respective items joyfully.

"My boots ! You came back to Mommy !" cheered Leni, hugging the white leather tightly.

"Losing and recreating all those notes surely would have made me _tear_ my own hair off !" cracked Luan while holding her joke book.

"Heil to that." smiled Lisa, looking at her undamaged record tape.

"Somehow, I can feel my heart warming up." said Lucy, caressing her precious tome.

"Screwy ! I missed you, buddy !" said Lana, as she embraced her trusty screwdriver.

Lily immediately plopped her blue cube in her mouth in celebration, sucking on it contently.

Lincoln smiled at his sisters, until they stopped celebrating when they realised one thing.

"Lincoln... how is our stuff here ? You said you relayed it to some guy, so we wouldn't interfere." asked Lori, clearly confused.

"Yeah, I kinda lied." admitted Lincoln, much to the collective shock of the girls. "The truth is, I couldn't give away your stuff either. I thought of it at first, but once in my room, I knew this would be a terrible idea. So I packed everything in a box, hid it under my bed, I called out a complete stranger on his motorbik) before our house, and threw him five bucks just so he'd ride away, making you think I'd give him the stuff. I guess even though I was miffled and wanted you out of the way, I wasn't ready to stoop all the way to that level. Sorry."

This confession actually made the sisters feel worse. Because it basically meant that their stuff was never in any real danger, making their assumption of their brother actually doing so, completely wrong. And what had they done in return ?

"Dude, we..." attempted Luna, but Lincoln cut her gently.

"No need to apologize again, I get it. I didn't do very good myself. But right now, I've been making someone else wait for quite some time. I must go and make things straight with Ronnie Anne, even if that means..."

Lincoln didn't finish his sentence, as he sighed heavily. The weight of this day's remaining consequences was crashing down on him. But once again, he had to hold on. Quietly, he walked to the door, opened it, and sent one last sad smile to his sisters.

"I'll be back in a sec. Love ya." And with that, he was gone.

Another depressing silence fell onto the dinner. The sisters looked at eachother in concern and sadness. Once again, Lori was the only one to speak up, in a calm, but highly melancholic voice.

"I know I've said that a lot recently, but I mean it this time. **This** is litteraly the worst."

* * *

Lincoln inhaled some much needed fresh air, and looked around the dinner. He immediately found Ronnie Anne on his left a bit further away, on a spot of grass planted on the sidewalk. Lincoln understood her position. Whatever she was gonna say, she didn't want his sisters spying on it.

With another sigh, he went to Ronnie Anne, who had finished drying up. She looked at him with a neutral expression. "Took you a while." she said shortly, her voice just as neutral.

"Yeah, I... we had some things to say." said Lincoln, avoiding her gaze for a bit, before mustering the courage to look her in the eyes. "Ronnie Anne, about what happened today, I can explain. You see, all those things that have been happenning, it was an idea of my sisters-"

"Oh, I knew that."

Lincoln's eyes widened for a moment, before chuckling akwardly. "Oh yeah, that makes much more sense. When did you catch on ?"

"Well, I wasn't sure one-hundred percent sure about 'Vicky', but come on. I've been at your place more than a few times now, the rest was pretty friggin' obvious." said Ronnie Anne with a small smile. "Now, how about you give me the whole story, hmm ?"

And so Lincoln did, he told her everything. The letter, his sisters making a hollow promise to leave him in peace, him taking their stuff hostage, the sisters' whole plan, the nature of the pink goo, how he nearly explosed to them, and how they made up. He gave every detail of yersteday afternoon and today, from his point of view. By the time he was finished, Ronnie Anne was once again neutral.

"Okay, someone has to do this, and know that in retrospective, it'll make you feel a little bit better." said Ronnie Anne. She then proceded to give him a harsh punch in the shoulder, making the boy yelp. "That's for your dumb plan, plus trying to insult your sisters. Because that part was just that, all dumb. Never do that ever again."

Lincoln nodded shyly to the glaring girl, rubbing away the pain. Her features though, quickly softened.

"But I guess I'm sorry too. Even though I caught on, I tried to play dumb because I was having such a fun time seeing your sisters' attempts. I mean, seriously, Luan in a maid costume ? 'Natalie Kaah' ? 'Madam Lumina' ? Those were just hilarious ! But I still left you getting embarrassed. And that was a pretty dumb move too, especially since it almost made you breakdown on your own sisters." said Ronnie Anne, actually looking quite sad.

Lincoln smiled back, and upped her chin back up again. "Don't worry about it. It didn't happen, and that's all that matters. And well, I guess we'll really have something to laugh about in the future." said Lincoln, making the two share a good laugh. "So... are we cool ?"

"We're totally cool." nodded Ronnie Anne. Her smile then turned a bit sheepish. "Um, by the way, can I ask you something ?"

"Sure, shoot away."

Ronnie Anne's stance became a bit akward and fidgety. "Well, I've been mulling over some of the things your sisters have done, like Luna's song, or that moment Lynn made you catch me, or even..." She was now stuttering blushing profusely. "W-W-What Luna and Lucy said... is it true ? D-Do you really find me... pretty ?"

Lincoln's own face reddened. Ronnie Anne had just asked her THE question. He was not prepared, the ' _Man with a plan_ ' was just the ' _Very confused Man_ ' right now. He could feel his heart accelarating, his armpits beginning to... yuck ! ' _What do I do ? What do I say ?! I didn't think she'd actually take it... I mean, we're friends, I can't... disappoint her like that._ '

He reached his conclusion just like that. He couldn't disappoint her, and at the moment, Tough Ronnie Anne was looking very vulnerable, so he had to do it. He knew her, he appreciated her, he... liked her. He **liked liked** her.

Lincoln closed his eyes for a moment, and his whole body relaxed. He put on a smile as he looked her in the eyes. "Yeah, I... do think you are pretty. I do think your freckles make you prettier, that you have luscious black hair, and that your laughing simply... sounds so right to me. I... used to think you were an unfeeling brute, but I couldn't have been further from the truth. You are tough and brave, as much as you're funny and sensitive. You're not just pretty... you're amazing, Ronnie Anne."

In his life's accomplishements, Lincoln knew he could now write down that he had, with a straight face and calm voice, made Ronnie Anne Santiago, the Toughest Pre-tween of Royal Woods, blush as scarlet as a lobster. Lincoln could have sworn he actually saw steam rising up her face, and that the sound of a boiling kettle had rung off.

She regained her composure after a while, but instead of hitting Lincoln's shoulder hard, simply smiled bashfully. "Wow. Not counting Bobby or my dad, this is the nicest thing I've ever heard from a boy. Usually they make fun of me, or I just scare them away. You're really something Lincoln Loud, I got that since the moment you smooched me on the cheek, when I thought you wanted to rumble it out. And I... guess you could say Luna kinda pinned it on with her song, and there is so much more great things about you. But I guess ' **Cute** ' does qualify as one."

It was Lincoln's turn to turn red as a sunburned tomato, making Ronnie guffaw at his embarassement. He may be cool when he stayed calm and collected, but how adorable was he when he got all akward like that. He cooled down after a bit, and proceeded.

"Well, in that case, would you like to... try it for real ?" asked Lincoln.

"You mean... like a real date ?" said Ronnie Anne, feeling the blood coming back in her cheeks.

"Y-Yeah. How does Saturday in three weeks sound ? We could go to **Luigi's Pizza Emporium** , and then we could catch a movie, like that new Nacho Ninja movie coming on. " **Nacho Ninja : HalaPAIÑo in Kyoto** " !"

Ronnie Anne's face brightened up. "Heck yeah, Nacho Ninja is awesome ! And I don't really have anything that Saturday, so I guess I can ask my parents if it's cool."

"But... are **you** cool with it ?" asked Lincoln, making Ronnie Anne look all shy again.

"Yeah... I'm 100% cool with that. Though, this time, **please let your sisters at home**. They can be funny, but it'll be really akward for the both of us if they get in the way again. I know I'd kill Bobby if he did. Well, I better get going. My uncle is visiting tonight, so I need to wash up a bit. Not that you didn't do half the job already." cracked Ronnie Anne.

Lincoln laughed at this, happy at how this 'hangout' was ending. "Alright, I guess I'll see you at school on Monday. And don't worry about mockeries, I can take on some taunting, as long as I'm _laughing with you_." winked Lincoln.

"Hehe, true. But if they become a bit nosy or annoying, I can come and remind them WHO you're having a date with, that'll shut them up." boasted Ronnie Anne. "Oh, and one last thing."

"Yes, what is- Hmmff ?!" was all that Lincoln could say, before Ronnie Anne locked her lips with his. But oddly, he didn't mind, as he passed his arms under Ronnie Anne's and kissed right back. They didn't move for the next ten seconds, enjoying the moment.

Then they broke up, and Ronnie Anne saluted. "Now, I can go. See you later, ya big doofus."

Lincoln waved her goodbye, and waited until she was out of sight to sigh dreamily. ' _I was right the first time. She does have very sweet lips._ '

With a little jump in his step, Lincoln went to the dinner's doors, impatient to tell his sisters the amazing news. But once his hand was on the handle, he stopped. Right now, his sisters' thoughts were pinned on him and filled with regrets. That... never really happened before. Lincoln smiled to himself. Just because he forgave them, didn't mean he couldn't enjoy a _little_ payback.

* * *

The Loud Sisters were worried beyond belief. The mere thought of what they had done and what could be happenning outside was driving them up the walls. And, to again be a paradox to their usual schtick and very name, they kept so **quiet**. None of them had the courage to go spy on them, in apprehension of seeing their brother's heart breaking, and in fear of being caught and facing another dose of his wrath.

But after agonizing minutes, from which the sisters felt every **millisecond** passing by, the door opened once again. And the girls' heart tightened when they saw their brother enter, especially since he was slouching miserably, with a pained expression on his face.

Another interminable minute later, it was Luna who found the courage to speak up. "S-So bro... how did it go out there ? Is... Is everything alright ?" she asked tensely, her raspy voice having lost every bit of her British accent.

"Luan ?" mumbled Lincoln. "Tell me. Who has ten sisters, and no more Ronnie Anne ?"

Lincoln guiltily smiled internally, as he heard the sharp gasps resonating in the deserted restaurant. He could even see some eyes watering up, especially Lori, who already could already see her dream man breaking up with her.

"I-I-I don't know Lincoln ? Who-Who does ?" articuled Luan, her voice on the edge of breaking apart, seeing how cracked it was.

Lincoln sighed contently inside. ' _Alright, I've had my fun. Time to put some smiles on those mushy faces._ '

As such, Lincoln suddenly sprang back up, and pointed at himself with a big grin. " **NOT** this guy !"

"Huh ?!" was the general awnser, the tears disappearing because of the shock.

Undeterred, Lincoln continued. "But you know what this guy has ? Ten **Amazing** sisters, and an official date with Ronnie Anne !"

Lincoln's grin only got bigger once he saw his sisters' gazes blank out, then the edges of their lips shakily rising.

And then, he knowingly plugged his fingers into his ears, as his sisters let out a collective sonic boom of a cheering squeal. Lincoln watched as his sisters hugged, and jumped, and danced in pure joy, before, of course, reaching for their brother for a tight warm family hug.

"We did it, we really did it !" said Lynn in ecstasy.

"This operation was bumpy and underplanned, but I dare say that it was a rousing success." smiled Lisa.

"Yeah, I guess that's the best way to describe it." said Lincoln, as the Loud Family broke the hug.

"So when is it ?" asked Lana, bouncing on her spot.

"Saturday, in three weeks. We'll go eat pizza, and then see a movie." briefly explained Lincoln.

"Ah, a classic choice." awwed Lori with a smile, partially glad that her relationship with Bobby wasn't dead and buried.

"Though, she did insist that you guys stay home, and I do support that. While this plan got a happy ending, the realisation was an embarassing mess." said Lincoln, getting serious.

"Don't worry Linky, we won't get in the way of anything or get dirty. My room is, like, always super clean." quipped Leni.

Lincoln's gaze though, got a bit harder. "I do hope so, because if I catch even the reflection of the shadow of one of you, I just might not stop myself this time. Got that clear ?"

The sisters gulped and nodded. Lincoln's glare disappeared, and he was now smiling again. "Good. Now, maybe we could get into the matter of some... penalties for today ?" said the brother, his voice getting coy.

The female pack groaned. They knew Lincoln had forgiven them, but they expected him to say that. Didn't make it any easier to swallow though. "Do we have to ?" complained Lola.

"Remember the time we forgot your Little Fairy Butterfly pageant ?" said Lincoln. Seeing his sister huff in acceptance, he continued. "I'll play it fair, seeing as my plan wasn't the best, and I did vent a lot already. So, I downed it to three demands."

The sisters prepared themselves, hoping for the best, and expecting the worst.

"Firstly, it's movie night tonight, and well, I hope you like Ace Savvy." said Lincoln, holding a finger.

"I guess that one's fair." said Lynn, whom the others agreed with.

"Secondly, I get a triple set of 'Dibs on seconds', which I can use at any moment, at any meal and anytime." continued Lincoln, holding a second finger.

"Aw man, you're _eating_ us alive here. Haha, get it ?" cracked Luan, prompting groans of annoyance to rise alongside the groans of disappointement.

Lincoln then rose a third finger, and smiled. "Thirdly... well haven't you been listening ? I, Lincoln Loud, have a date, and I could use some serious back-up !" He smiled even more as his sisters perked up. "I mean, I will need to look my best, costume and prestance wise."

Leni began to hop and raise her hand like a child who wanted to be picked to awnser a question, as Lola squished her cheeks in elation.

"I could need a hand on what to say. Whether what girls like, some good jokes, or a proper vocabulary."

Lori smiled fondly, Luan gave a thumbs up, and Lisa recalibrated her glasses with a prideful smile.

"I'll need some help on deeper stuff too. Some well-thought lyrics, or good poetry."

Luna made her Rock Pose once again, while Lucy nodded, a slight smile on her face.

"I'll need some training and the tools against any emergency possible."

Lynn made a fist pump in the air, and Lana gave a big almost-toothy grin.

"And of course, some much needed moral support." finished Lincoln, as he picked Lily, who booped his nose with a giggle. "So what do you say ? Will you help your doofus brother on his date ?"

The awnser was an unanimous " **YEAH !** ", and all cheered.

"Come on guys, let's go home !" said Lori. But as they began to leave, Lincoln stopped them.

"Uh, before we do that, we should maybe clean up this whole mess. And destroy the camera footage. And put Mr. Gus and the employees back at their place before they wake up. You know, so Lori doesn't lose her job, or we all end up, once again, on the backseat of police cars." said Lincoln, eyeing the wet mess that was the dining room at the moment. The sisters looked around, and saw what he was talking about.

"Oh yeah, we should totally do that first." sweatdropped Lori.

* * *

 _Epilogue._

After cleaning the dinner, hacking the camera feed, putting everyone back into a position where they'd think they simply had a long improvised nap, and grabbing all of their stuff, the Loud Siblings went back home.

There, they told the whole story to their parents, who both listened intently. And while they were glad the kids made up, and gladder that Lincoln now had a girlfriend ( _Rita in particular had hugged her 'little baby boy' in the way only a mother could_ ), they decided that there was still a need for some consequences.

As such, Lincoln got a whole afternoon of cleaning on Sunday. Not too bad really, but his sisters got off worse. Grounded for a week, with a chocolate prohibition. And just as the chocolate shelves had been restocked. The madness ! Lincoln fell for them though, and gave them some of his rations under the table, or during their sibling reunions, to which the sisters were immensely grateful for.

The first week passed in a flash, and it was already another Saturday. Lincoln was in his room, preparing himself for the day. He then saw the camera, and smiled at it.

"It goes without saying by now, but _in a family as big as mine_ , you gotta take on what you get, whether it's the good or the bad stuff. My sisters will never truly leave me alone, and I guess it'll annoy me from time to time. What can I say, we're siblings. But I'll always be at least a bit thankful for that, because then I know that they do think about me, that I am important to them. And trust me when I say there is no better feeling whithin a family." narrated Lincoln, before being interrupted with some knocking at the door. "Welp, that's my cue. Wish me luck."

Lincoln opened his door to find all his sisters before his door, except Lily who was napping.

"Lincs, you're just in time for some reflex test, luchador style !" said Lynn, having two wrestling masks in her hands.

"No he's not, he's supposed to take a very important magazine test with me." quipped Lori with her 16½ magazine.

"You're both wrong, he's supposed to learn some poise and class with the master herself." said Lola, fluffing her blonde hair.

"Poise, schmoise. I'm the one who is supposed to teach him how to use tools like a pro, and make him handle every emergency that can butt on his date." retorted Lana.

"I'm afraid you're all out of _date_ , because my **assistant** needs to learn on his material. Like, what's two steaks suddenly finding eachother ? A _meat_ ing ! Get it ?" guffawed Luan.

"The ways of Rock n Roll don't wait on dudes, it's the final countdown !" said Luna, doing a little riff on her trusty guitar.

"I'm afraid your longitudinal waves will indeed have to be put on hold. For you see, I have some much needed lessons of proper vocabulary and terminology to give so their enamouring meeting can be enjoyed at the maximum of its capacities." said Lisa, pushing her glasses.

"Lincoln doesn't need vocals, he already can talk ! What he needs right now is to get a totes beautiful smoking !" asserted Leni, ignoring the annoyed glare of her sister.

"No he doesn't." murmured Lucy, making the girls yelp in fright as she had seemingly appeared out of thin air. "What he needs is some poetry as deep as the dark pit of my dying soul."

The girls began to argue left and right, but were stopped by Lincoln's whistling. "Calm down girls, let me see the schedule."

Lincoln sorted some fake reading glasses, looking like an accountant, and read through a little agenda he had made himself. He closed it and threw the glasses back in his pocket. "Sorry girls, but Lana's right. It's her turn first, then I follow with Luan, and then with Lori, right before lunch."

"Woohoo !" exulted the little dirt monkey. "C'mon Lincoln, let's go to the garage, where I'll teach ya how to unscrew a door in 10 seconds top !"

"See you later girls." said Lincoln, taking the hand of his little sister, and ran along, as his sisters waved back. On the way, he adressed one last message to the viewers. "In my family, there's got to be some limits installed for private life. But our love for eachother is definitely, without bonds."

* * *

 **Author's Note :**

 *** _The author is sobbing uncontrollably at the sight of his finished chapter and fanfic.*_**

 *** _A time rift opens. Another author appears, trying not to be noticed by the crying one.*_**

 **Heya, I'm from six hours in the future. I came to present this note, as my other me is... gonna let himself go dry. He'll be a while, trust me, I know.**

 **Anyways, I hope you appreciated this fanfiction as a whole, and I really hope that the middle of this last chapter didn't get too OOC for Lincoln or the Loud House Universe in general. I wanted this fanfic to stay funny, but I guess I kinda overboarded on the emotion at the end.**

 *** _The Present Author's wails increase in volume as he crashes on a counter.*_**

 **But this Fanfic was very fun to write anyways, and I thank you for the support you've given it, especially the reviewers. Hope to see more Loud House Fanfics pop up, and for this cute little show to go on his merry little way.**

 **And as I said, I have no project for another normal Loud House Fanfic, but I might, MAYBE, do a certain Crossover ( _See author's note on Chapter 2_ ). Stay tuned for that.**

 **?: you know, if he doesn't get as lazy as me. we won't be in a bone-ified situation then.**

 **GET OUT OF MY CLOSET !**

 **Ahem, this is Superdimentio77, telling you to smile just a bit more, because you're worth it.**

 **Until next time !**


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